Dec 22, '09 - Part B

I realized I have more to say. Been lacking in words lately but maybe now it's coming together.

Help me help you. Help others help you. Make it easier for them to help you, because someone wants to. I know it's hard.

For me, I've found it hard when I feel people don't have time, or when they don't seemingly don't care. Or perhaps they have enough problems. But I guess a lot of the time people seem "too busy" or "don't care" simply because they don't know. They don't it's hard, they don't know it's painful. I know it's not easy to say it hurts, it's not easy to say, "Hey, I've really had a bad day" or "Hey, I really need you to talk to me right now". But do it, because chances are, if you keep looking, you'll find someone out there and it'll make things better.

Help others help you. Help me help you.

I want to help.

Dec 22, '09

Someone at work said to me today, "Hope Santa brings you something nice for Christmas.... something nice and muscular".

Can't believe it's almost Christmas. Everyday at work probably for the last week or so I have been thinking to myself, can't believe it. The year is almost gone. Uni seemed so long ago.

Interesting things happen.

Quick note to all commenters

Thanks for your comments (regardless of the means the comments are communicated).

=]

Dec 18, '09

Loud people scare me sometimes. Makes me feel uncomfortable. Often times, I feel myself no longer being engaged in the conversation and just observing the loud, dominating voices and hand gestures. I feel like maybe they may be scared too. And while I express it through stuttering and nervous laughter, they might do it through putting people down and making racist jokes.

I guess at the end of the day, a lot of us struggle inside.

Dec 15, '09

No more anger. No more hate. Just exasperation.
Thanks for reminding me, once again, why I shouldn't just trust anyone.

Dec 9, '09

It's been an interesting day. On the way to work this morning, I went to get coffee. I thought I'd be different and try a different place - it ended up being closed, so I went somewhere else, which was also closed. It took me a bit of a detour to get a coffee, finally, which then proceeded to spill onto my car. Somehow I eventually managed to get to work, only to find I had misplaced my work keys. I was too early so was locked outside. Eventually I got in and spent about an hour trying to work with IT people in Singapore to get me onto my computer with my keycard. By about 8:30am I had been asked three time whether something was going on. It's one of those things that if the day starts of frustrating, every little frustrating things just get magnified.

When I realize I'm just frustrating myself, I find the best thing to do is to get away from the computer and interact with other people. Went onto the field and learned a few things, then had some couple of discussions about a couple upcoming risks associated with my unit. By 5pm, things were looking less grey.

At night, someone's generosity gave me a delicious three course meal. It ended up being 5 courses as the main course and dessert was shared.

I also got an invitation to go to someone's place for Christmas today. I was so surprised. It was so out of the blue, and it was very kind. Opened my email and it was something along the lines of "If you're not doing anything for Christmas, come over to my place and spend it with my family, it's not a problem at all. It's bad enough that you're cold at home, but if you're cold and lonely, that's unbearable." Don't know him that well, so probably won't take up the offer, but I was really quite amazed for a few minutes. I guess I don't see or at least recognize such random acts of kindess very often these days.

Zzz....

Ring ring. How can I help you?

I feel that very small acts on one person's part could translate into tremendous help/benefit to someone else.

Perhaps you can look beyond yourself today and try, just for a second, see what you can do, to many someone's life just that tiny bit better today.

... and perhaps you can tell me what I could do, to help bring one more smile to your day.

Good evening, reader.

How are you going? I probably haven't heard from you in awhile. Send me an email. I want to hear from you, but sometimes it is hard keeping in touch with everyone. People tend to be busy, which is why I hesitate getting in touch with people, yourself included, probably.

Hope to talk to you soon.

Regards,
Kei

Nov 23, '09

Missing you like crazy just thinking about having you gone.
They told me it gets easier with time. It doesn't.

I wish it didn't have to come to this.

Nov 29, '09

Sometimes it's not that unbearable. Sometimes you can even crack a smile over it.

But when the world stops around you and there is a quiet moment late at night, in the dark of your room, you remember. You remember how much it hurt, you remember the pain. The images, the words, the memories.

... and then you look down at your chest, and you see your heart still bleeding.

Nov 21, 09

"When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray
And I want you more than I want to live another day
And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful"
- Brooke Fraser

Encouragement in the form of 2 flat whites and a good conversation.

I thank God for pulling me out of two low moods today.
Every time someone or something pulls me out means one less time in the hole.

Thanks =)

8/11/09 for 13/11/09.

The 2009 International To Write Love on Her Arm Day (TWLOHA) in on Nov 13. TWLOHA is a non-profit movement dedicated to helping the millions of people out there battling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.

In support of this, on Nov 13, thousands of people around the world will be writing "LOVE" on their arms in support and to help raise awareness of this potentially deadly illness.

For more information, see:

http://www.twloha.com

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=131785654130&index=1%20

You never know, you could be supporting a friend or family member.

And if you it's you that needs the support, I'll be there supporting you (probably unknowingly), as will thousands of other people in the world.

Because dying's just not worth it.

Nov 5, '09

Facebook is having some strange functions these days.

E.g. I'm not really getting this "like" of statuses. What does it exactly mean? I think I had a ranting status and I got a few "likes". Does that mean they are glad I am ranting or that they feel like ranting too?

E.g. "Suggesting friends" for friends because they only have x friends. That's the most ridiculous thing ever. Seriously. As if Facebook friends are real.

I'm not complaining though. I just think it's strange. The creators of Facebook must have their own reasons, I'm sure, but I don't get them.

It is Friday tomorrow. Yay, yay and YAY.

Cup Day, '09.

I had waited for this day for a long time. Ever since probably around Queen's Birthday earlier this year.

It was a good day. Paid no attention to horses, but after a few conversations I've had with my housemate, maybe I should try my luck next year. Hm, shouldn't be greedy.

Caught up with a few friends. Had some good conversations. Had a good dinner at a place I'd never tried before in Fitzroy. Oh, and had the best ride home ever. There was just the right amount moisture in the air from after the rain and just a slight breeze. Fantastic.

Back to work tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. Sighhhhhhh.

Christmas, Christmas, please come sooner.

Oct 29, '09

I saw your photo and I suddenly remembered those feelings. They haven't died away - they're just as strong. I just have better things to do these days so I don't ponder on it. But it's still there. Quite amazed at my ability to feel such strong feelings. If only we could capture that energy and put it in some electricity grid. Not really a renewable energy, but anything to help with this Climate Change issue.

It was really warm today. I was walking outside this afternoon and I started to dread summer. Hopefully no more 45C days. Otherwise I will be living at work where air conditioning exists.

Lots of people I know finishing uni in the next few weeks. Hang in there - the end actually is now rapidly approaching. Things only get better after uni =)

It's almost the end of the year. Next year, we'll be living "in the tens". Many of us will get to live in the '20s too. How exciting.

Bring on the funky clothing and music.

Oct 28, '09

I think it's important when people approach people not to assume everything is fine/norm. e.g. They could be very very busy because there's urgent things happening.

On the other hand it's also good if people acknowledge your existence once in awhile. Just to check the heart's pumping and air is going through those lungs.

To be well-supported...

Tomorrow will be a new day.

Oct 25, '09

Anxiety. Worry. Greed.

The passage today was from Luke, and one of the verses was, "Take care! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; for one's life does not consist in the abundance of posessions".

The most obvious thing this passage refers to is money. Most of us are in some way or another slaves to money. It's difficult not to be though - it's all around us. The false promises of the lottery. Obessions with the share market. The long hours we work is for some of us indirectly or directly related to the love of money.

It's not just money we're greedy about though. Many of us are greedy about all sorts of things. Relationships, family, the future. And with that greed comes worry.

There is no end to the things that we could worry about. Am I in the right course? Is this something I really want to do? Upon graduating, will I be able to get a job? Once I get the job, can I keep it? When will I get a promotion? Will I get married? Once I get married, will my spouse cheat on me? Will we be able to have children? Will we be able to raise them properly? What about retirement? How far will my superannuation go?

There is no end to the things that we could worry about - that is the human condition.

Worrying doesn't achieve anything. Especially worrying about these things. The problem is, all these things don't satisfy. Or, at least, they satisfy for a period of time. Until you get bored. Until you develop new hobbies. Until a natural disaster strikes. Until the Global Financial Crisis. Until a loved one dies. Until circumstances change and you can't go on.

I struggle sometimes with the above. Actually, reprhase. I struggle a lot of the times with the above. But through everything, I do know I believe in something beyond this. I believe in something eternal. I believe in it, not because it makes me "feel good" (in fact, it makes me feel bad quite a lot of the times) nor because it I want to create some sort of meaning in my life. No, I believe in it because I have read the Word of God, and have been convinced both through historical evidence and personal experience of Christ living in me, that the words in there are true and living.

It is easy to mess up. It is easy to think something else will satisfy. It doesn't.

Tonight, it is my absolute, deepest, most sincere prayer, that you will be able to find it too, and live a life free of anxiety, rather a life abundant and rich, experiencing the love of the everlasting God.

Gotcha Call

For those like me that drive to work half asleep in the morning, I would recommend listening to Fox FM if you happen to be driving around 7:45am. There's a show that cheers me up quite a bit - Matt Tilley's Gotcha Calls. Basically, listeners of the show tell Matt, the radio host, of someone they want him to prank call, and Matt prank calls them with some info he has about them. This morning he was a Catholic priest, yesterday a representative from the Portuguese society, the day before someone from the Animal Cruelty.

It's really a funny show. It's especially funny when the person finds out that it was a prank (although one time someone figured it out before it was revealed).

It provides me with a guaranteed smile. For at least a few minutes of the day.

Highly recommend.

Pass the butter, please.

I was waiting around at the microwave for my leftover noodles to heat up when my colleague, who was putting together a toastie sandwich, said to me, "I've thrown out the ham as per your recommendations."

It was only after I paused, looked at him and repeated his sentence that he realized how strange it sounded.

Who speaks like that? Us, apparently. Have to be careful not to formalize my language too much. It can come off at best, strange, at worse, cold and distant.

Later, gator?

I was walking down the street.

I saw restaurants, I saw shops
I glanced one way and there were people smiling
I glanced another and saw the poor begging

Someone struggling with remember his PIN at the ATM
Another exasperated as his dog makes another one of his messes
Yet another in his own world, head down, bobbing to his earphones

Street lights flickering about
Sounds of cars whizzing by
Gusts of wind

I have almost walked to the end of the section
When I realize I have not thought about you once

For once, the smells from the restaurant did not remind of the food we once shared
For once, the dog didn't remind me of how your hair looks in the morning
For once, the gust of wind didn't remind me of how you used to keep me warm

And then, I realized, there I was again, thinking of you.
And then, I realized, it will still be a very long time, before I can walk down any street, without having your face on everything I see, feel, touch, hear.

I hope you are well.

Sept 23, '09

What??

The meter.

At work there is this analyzer.
A meter.
Whatever you like to call the device that takes measurements.

Something different each reading.
and it works.
like a sine graph it brings 0 up to 1.

But each night the frequency decreases.
and it brings you up faster.
but down faster.
and it's the sort of function that keeps getting smaller.

Tonight it is 1.
Tomorrow night it is 0.99.
Then 0.95.
But every night it brings you back to 0.

Then one day, it doesn't go up to 1.
One day, it stays at 0.
One day, it flat lines.
The meter is not broken, it is indeed 0.

Not going to be able to make it.

14/9/09.

Women's tennis doesn't interest me except when things like this happens. Serena Williams disqualified at match point. Kim Clijsters, wild card, coming back from retirement, winning the tournament.

... and for tonight, let's go Federer.

9/9/09

Sept 8, 2009

It is incredibly helpful to talk to people that have gone through similar experiences as myself so I realize I'm not going crazy. There are difficulties switching from uni to work that no one taught me in uni. You know it subconsciously, it makes sense when people say it to you, but really, it's nothing like experiencing it first-hand. Fortunately there's people around that have tried some things and have some good ideas to ensure work doesn't kill us all. For that and more, I'm thankful.

Sept 5, '09

Spring is here.

Sept 1, '09

I would really appreciate it if someone could tell me some good news right about now.

Aug 30, '09

Someone's twenty today =) "Happy birthday, mate."
I ate a lot of food this weekend.
Another long week ahead... hopefully with some interesting things.

Spring is almost here.

Psalm 96

Even when things aren't so good....

___

Sing unto the Lord a new song
Sing unto the Lord all the earth
Sing to the Lord, bless his name
Tell of his salvation day by day.

Majesty and honour are his
Strength and beauty, glory and righteousness
Great is the Lord, and deserving of praise
He is to be feared above all gods.

Worship the Lord in holy array
Tremble before him all the earth
Our God reigns.

Let all the creation be glad
The earth and the sea sing for joy
Before the Lord, the judge of the earth
Who judges us in righteousness and truth

Worship the Lord in holy array
Tremble before him all the earth
Our God reigns.

Aug 24, '09

According to http://www.friendshipstats.com I have 530 friends, 410 more than average. 46% are male, 54% are female. 89 are single, 127 are dating or married. If I contracted a deadly variant of flu, I would likely infect 13 people, 2 of whom would die. When I share something on Facebook, it is typically viewed by 31 people. If I died today, an estimated 565 people would try to attend my funeral. Based on my Facebook profile, I have a 93% probability of getting married. I am likely to earn US$2.7 million and have 2.5 children over my lifetime.

...

I'm surprised I clicked on this nonsense in the first place. I must be losing my mind more than I thought.

Black and white.

But mainly black.

Aug 14, '09

Half-hearted. Elsewhere.
Cold-hearted. Everywhere.

Patience waning.
Out of sight.

Losing.

Aug 4, '09

I have been sitting here for a long time to try and formulate the words, just for a temporary release. But no amount of thinking has led me to coming up with the words that even begin to describe the frustration and the pain.

Logic and reason doesn't work.
Empathy trumps all.
If only.

Jul 31, '09

The laptop is on
The screen shines
A world of information
In the darkness of my room



Information I don't need to know

Burn

Turning something valuable into ashes.
Something held close for a long time.
It only is a matter of seconds.
And it is
All. Gone.

Jul 28, '09

The stupid things one does when tired.
Sighhhs.

Zzzz.

Talk to me.

A Hard Decision #2.

A Hard Decision #1.

2009 YTD.

Tired... of human beings.

Holiday Hangover.

It appears that I did not have the swine flu leaving Melbourne. Whoppee. It does, however, appear that I have received some sort of cough from the hygienic paranoid land of Asia. I am back in Melbourne now. Fantastic.

I was upgraded to business class on my flight back to Melbourne. I suspect it was due to the flight being overbooked and my travel agent being a CX-preferred agent. It was brilliant. The new A330 plane with complete privacy and ability to recline chair back entirely to make a bed. Actual blankets for sleeping, more food and drinks than you can handle, oh, and I cannot forget - the ability to be able to go to the toilet a million times a night without having to climb over people rather apologetically. Hurrah.

It would be terrific to have some entertainment in the forseeable short-term. If free and willing, please do drop a line. Would love to hear from you.

Meanwhile, the wastewater treatment plant calls.

Jul 3, '09

I don't really need this much excitement in life. It is a bit more than my little brain can handle. I'm glad my bed is so comfy though. And my carrot is so soft.

Zzzzz.....

June 2, '09

Singapore airlines, airport authorities and the like, I curse you.
On the positive, at least if I'm stranded in a country, at least it's Australia. It's a pretty decent country to have to stay in...

SIGHS.

Letter Q of the Avenue.

Saw it a few days ago. I expected it to be funny and it sure was. In fact, close to hilarious. What I didn't expect was the vocals and acting to be so magnificent. I mean, being a Broadway musical, I guess that should be guaranteed, but it was just the humour I was expecting. The singing was very powerful and they harmonized so well. Acting first class too.

4.9 stars out of 5. Highly recommend, but only those who can take quite extreme jokes.

June 29, '09.

What's been happening?

Unbelievably busy. At work, after work, at home, even when I'm sleeping my brain seems to be quite active.

Zzz.....

I had a dream.

A dream in the midst of the night?
A mindless daydream?
I can't remember.

Driving along the windy paths
Watching the trains go by
Rain drops falling on the windscreen.

In the dream, you were absent
From my house and computer screen
From my workplace and all that's in between
In my dream, you weren't there.

Away from my mind, away from my heart
Away from my life and all it's parts
In my dream, you weren't there.

Through the darkest days and brightest nights
Through sunshine and thunderous times

I was happy, for in my dream,
You weren't there.

June 22, '09

No explanation.
No excuses.

Just lost my mind.

失败者

Punch me now.

... and the summation is...

-100.

you learn as you go.
some things you don't click.
some words you don't hear.
reduce the anger.
forget the memory.

-100, already freezing.
soon, molecules
don't.
move.
no.
more.

and
soon
it's
-273






Kelvin.

Centralize the pain

'Cause I don't want to.
'Cause it hurts.

'Cause I want to make you miserable.
'Cause it's hard.

'Cause I want to be difficult.
'Cause I can.

Just 'cause.

Pathetic:

- Facebook quizzes. No one cares that you are 80% dirty or that you're 20% female. No one.
- Ridiculous abbreviations. Fair enough if you want to express "thx for my msg" or require "info tmr or asap" but "ilu" and "hugz"? I mean, seriously, as if virtual hugs aren't stupid enough. If you love someone, you would think you would at least have the decency to spell it out. Seriously, 8 letters, 10 including spaces, not rocket science.
- Calling people anonmyously and hanging up. If you dialled the wrong number, it doesn't hurt to say so. If you're calling to play pranks, at least do something original.

I am not in a good mood. I realize I may have offended most of my readers who probably love to do "xoxo" and even write their own Facebook quizzes. At this point in time, I couldn't care less, but I realize I might care by the end of the week, so I apologize now for later, and I do actually mean it.

Let's just blame it on Monday Blues.

Heartbreak #4

"You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm try'n make sense of what little remains
Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces, I'm falling to pieces, I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even)"

Heartbreak #3

"They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even even no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces, I'm falling to pieces, I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even)"

Heartbreak #2

"What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?

... and what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked you and you're ok?

... I'm falling to pieces, yeah, I'm falling to pieces..."

Heartbreak #1

"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her 1st
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven"

Two words.

ROGER FEDERER.

=)

June 4, '09

No particular timing
Morning
Night
Summer
Spring

No particular instance
Eating
Showering
Talking
Spacing

No particular reason
Wishful
Lustful
Hateful
Hopeful

It just comes
and
you
just


remember.

May 31, '09

no answers
except
its not fair

May 23, '09

1. This.weekend.has.been.a.long.time.coming.
2. Apparently.its.because.you.felt.guilty.that.makes.me.happy.
3. Feigning.strength.eat.more.spinach.it'll.make.me.strong.
4. Hurrah.for.Benadryl.go.drugs.
5. Happy.Graduation.Fi-Bi.

Only a kid.

Someone at work bought me chocolate today. Just one of those chocolate koalas that you pay $1 or so for ... the type that parents sell at work to raise money for their kid's fundraiser.

After the chocolate incident, I was really happy, just like a kid. It appears that I'm easily won over, easily bribed.

Like a kid. Can't handle things that are too hard. Can't handle too much responsibility. Can't handle tasks that hold too much risk.

Only a kid...

... no desire to grow up.

May 14, '09

Sure.
No worries.
Whatever.
Done.
Deal.

Beef or lamb?

It's funny how the mind can trick you. I was having dinner tonight, given a piece of meat that looked rather like a medium-cooked piece of beef steak. Came with mash, asparagus, all that really good stuff... I ate it, and towards the end, someone asked me, "so how was the lamb?" After asking a few other people, I found out that what I had thought was beef was in fact, lamb.

If I had known beforehand that it was lamb, I would've appreciated it a lot more. Don't get me wrong, I love my beef steak, but lamb is quite a speciality, even more so than the beef. Dinner was enjoyable, but it could've been more enjoyable if only I had known...

Note to self: the mind is easily fooled. Be careful.

Insight.

Insight.
Originally uploaded by k.ho

Felt like playing around with my camera tonight, bit too cold to go outside so thought I'd do the best I could in my room. Surprisingly, this photo took a long time to take because I couldn't quite get the composition right so that the photo would actually say what I wanted it to.... Understanding, clarity, insight... even small amounts can make masses of difference.

May 7, '09

My desk at works moves up and down with the rotation of a lever. I should not gamble. I am losing lots of dinners and choco cookies. Some people are born actors/actresses. Time makes it worse. Still looking for a housemate. Unable to start a conversation unless probed. Looking for people to take photos with on weekend. My next toy will be called Tommy.

Housemate wanted.

Hi all,

I'm needing a new housemate as of June/July this year. For those of you that have been to my place, it's the same one (in Carlton). If anyone is interested or know of anyone (seriously anyone) who might be, please let me know at your earliest convenience. Thanks in advance.

Kei

Use words.

In the absences of direct, to the point sentences, I will not get it. I believe I am a bit dense at taking hints. Hopes that I interpret looks", can read between the lines, or understand what 3 unanswered calls mean as opposed to 4 are useless. If you want to tell me something, you're going to have to actually tell me. I don't know what the difference is in being a teddy bear as a gift versus a box of chocolates.

Likewise, if you want to know something, you're going to have to ask me. I'll probably answer your question, really.

Thanks for helping me reduce the amount of unnecessary complications in life.

It's that easy.

Just don't think about it, the pain stops.
Just don't think about it, the guilt goes away.
It's that easy.




.. or.not.

Confusion.

One minute, dead set, so sure, couldn't be proven wrong.
... and then you remember.
... and then you aren't sure anymore.
In fact you couldn't be more uncertain.

Confusion.

Monday Blues.

I have the day off today. Apparently I should be celebrating.

$$$$ out of my life. Stop popping up everywhere on my computer, stop triggering memories, and for GOODNESS SAKES get OUT OF MY DREAMS. I don't watch horror movies for a reason. I don't need you in my nightmares. I don't need you at all.

Recipient of bad news first thing Monday morning. Great. Extremely worrying but completely understandable. In fact it probably should've been done earlier. But make the right moves, life will move on with you. Invisible high five mate, you can do it, right here for you.

Writing is good. Monday blues, it's freezing this morning, winter is coming, but at least the sun shines right now. Awaking from the nightmares, I was made a brilliant cup of coffee. That counts for something. It counts for a lot. I have good friends.

Reiterating, $$$ out of my life... I have left you alone, why can't you leave me alone? Unbelievable.

If it's not too hard...

There's enough hard things in the world. Calculus. Radiography. Investment. Relationships. Forgiveness. The list goes on.

Hence, if it's not too hard, I'll just do it. If it's not too out of the way, doesn't require that much extra effort. A simple word of thanks Sending a card to someone on their birthday. Making a slight detour to drive someone home late at night. Staying up one extra hour to be with someone while they cry. Making that one extra phone call before bed to make sure someone is ok.

Some things don't take that much effort. But what it can do ... that's boundless.

I've felt this way. I've felt surprised some of the thanks and appreciation I have been given to some of the things I consider trivial. Perhaps we won't save all the people dying from AIDS even in our life time. But perhaps we can just make one person crack a smile each day.

Make someone smile. Make someone smile today.

It's not that hard.

The two-player game.

A two-player game that only one player knows has begun. In fact, not only has the other player not known that the game has begun, he always does not know the rules, how to win, or even that the game exists altogether.

It is a time-based game and this player is running out of time. He's about to lose, badly.

Unfortunately, he doesn't know that time is running out.
Unfortunately, he doesn't know the consequence of the loss.

Make a move, quick.
The slightest movement, the slighest effort.
Any slightest will be better than anything.

Don't lose the game.
There is an invisible cheer squad cheering you on.
You just can't see them.
You just can't hear them.
But it doesn't mean that they aren't there.
It doesn't mean that you can't still win.

3...
2...
1...

Do something before t=0.
Do something before it all ends.

April 19, '09

- Nothing like a good walk breathing in the cool night air to clear the mind.
- Nicodemus was a lucky man to have the famous verse said straight to him.
- It was a nice surprise last night =).

"It might be you" - Stephen Bishop, loving the song...

I stand.

Down the drain you throw your life
into the roaring sea you thrust your body
blood
raining

d
o
w
n

the mountains spitting fIREEE.
and I stand here
wanting to help you
but you won't
hold my hand.

April 15, '09

I have an arthritis phenomenon developing. Actually I don't know much about arthritis. I could be using the wrong term altogether. Essentially, what's been happening is that I have been awaken at night by a pain running through my left hand. I notice my hand is slightly crunched and instinctively try to uncrunch it, after which the pain shoots a bit further. This has been happening quite a bit in the last little while. Hmm. Should get it checked.

The wind was howling this morning. The house was almost shaking. I was actually shaking. It then occured to me, it's that time of the year again where my house goes down to a temperature suitable for polar bears to inhabit. I will be looking to spend the majority of my time hibernating in other places in the next few months. I spent most of this time last year in a semi baking hot oven apartment. Ensured my blood continued to flow through the winter. Somewhat random thing - to my Canadian friends out there, I would liek to applaud you for surviving -30C temperatures for prolonged periods of time. I physically cannot imagine it.

Somedays I believe in miracles. Today is one of those days.

Easter Sunday, '09

Starting off the beginning of the year... I thought, 2009 was not going to be too bad.

Reflecting over the last four months, I'm relieved to say that my gut feeling has so far been correct. Lots of good things have happened lately. Met a lot of interesting people. Tried a lot of interesting new things. Started helping people again (just in very small ways), which I feel I haven't done in a very long time.

In the last four months, I noticed the leaves changing colour. I noticed when the sunset, and was generally asleep when the sun rose. More than 1 in 10 conversations I have probably actually engaged in. All these things make me thinks, '09 isn't going too badly at all.

Of course, not everything is rocking. Today I caught a whiff of this smell that made me very sad. I saw a photo that made me very angry. I thought thoughts that would be classified R for violence and offensive language.

But in general, '09 has been good.

Being Easter Sunday, I would like to pray this prayer -
Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Thanks for Jesus, thank you for his obedience to die on the cross, thanks that because of him and what he did around 2000 years ago, life has meaning. Help me forgive, help me to not hate, help me to love, both you and others. Thanks for being there, thanks for not leaving, and thanks for never giving up on people.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

April 1, '09

- I was almost fooled today about red water in my lagoon. Fortunately, I was semi-alert. No sign of Fossil Fools that I'm aware of, so that's good.
- Had a few breakthroughs at work today, was quite pleased.
- Sometimes you just have to put things aside for the greater good, or put some things aside for someone else. I'm not going to smile and give well wishes that I don't mean, but being civil and polite is something I can just about muster.
- Had a good dinner today... and really good dessert. Decided the Southbank Greco's counts for nothing compared to the one in Toorak.

... luck has decided to land in my arena for awhile. Don't go away, I'm rather fond of you... =)

Mar 29, '09

Many interesting happenings today:
- Waking up at 6:30am to make a rather brilliant brekkie, if I may so myself. Consisting of crepes with a multitude of fruits and cheeses... oh, and real coffee.
- Saw a lot, lot of green today. Haven't seen that much green in so long. My eyes had to take quite a bit of time adjusting. I'm glad I saw it before there was too many changes in colour, even though the colours in April/May in Melbourne make autumn my favourite season here.
- Had a rather traumatic experience in my car. In case people are wondering, it was not an accident, but did give all passengers a mini heart attack. Unbelievable. Seriously. I reckon I deserve a massive pat on the back for being super calm.
- Steak dinner. Three steaks in the last four days. Please do not be too shocked if I turn into a cow by the end of the week.

Moo.

Mar 25, '09

...

Sure, whatever, done, deal.

Storytelling.

Once upon a time, there was a pig.

The end.

###

I tell this story to kids that ask for a story. Typical conversation goes something like this:

"Tell me a story."
"Sure. Once upon a time, there was a pig.... The end."
"That's not a story!"
"Yes it is! I'll tell it to you again! Listen carefully now... Once upon a time, there was a pig... The end."
"No it's not! Tell me another one!"
"Once upon a time, there was a cow... The end."

etc etc

Indignance aside from it apparently not being a real story, kids seem to love it. Able to go through quite a few animals before the conversation dies down.

###

I'm guessing all reading this is 15 or above. If not, feel free to correct me. To you grown people out there, I have a story to tell you...

Once upon a time, there was a pig.

The end.

Nighttime.

Comfort lies at night
Comfort in the dark

Roads deserted, lights off
Hibernating, hiding out

No one watches, no one sees
Masks worn, lies suppressed

There is no morning.

I prefer something real.

Makes me sick, all that fakeness. Seriously. All this pretending to be a great person with all smiles and cheers and so completely caring about everyone but actually its all one big mask, one big lie.

It's different those who mask their hurt and pain with smiles and cheers. That's slightly more understandable. But when it's outright lying in your face, shut the door and then the attitude completely changes, seriously, get a life.

I prefer something real.

Of course, that's if reality means something. One of Pierre Bordeaux's key anthropological concepts was illusio as illusion - life is not intrinsically meaningful but society distributes the meaning of life. To be or not to be is not the question, as being is not an either/or. Being is accumluated, both quantiatively (more stuff) and qualitatively (greater intensity).

Human beings. That's what we are, supposedly.

Perhaps reality does not mean anything for you. But if occupy reality, which unfortunately you do, you take a position in reality.

You want to be fake?

I prefer something real.

The weather.

Is it the rain on the windscreen?
Is it the tears?

Who knows?
Who cares?

Stillness is in the air.

Mar 4, '09

It was a bad day.

Nothing bad happened. In fact, quite the contrary. Quite a lot of interesting things happened.

e.g. I went to the Toyota factory and saw cars being made.
e.g. A random stranger told me his sad love story.
e.g. I got my first urgent phone call from work at 9:30pm.
e.g. Multiple entertaining dinner guests.

One of those days when profanity after profanity comes rocketing through the head. Driving in the rain without wipers and not noticing at all. The perpetual headache. Back pain.

I know it is very unhealthy to keep this much anger inside. Anger that is not allowed to be expressed. And hence writing here, being free to post whatever frustrations talking to no one in particular, is the consolation.

A long long time ago, I threw apples in Princes Park.
A not too long time ago, I threw mugs at my wall.
Today, I was told to take up boxing.

Background.Noise.

Crack.

Mar 3, 2009

a. I realize I am not particularly regular in replying to comments. I will attempt to do better. Thus, in response to Pete's comment re: pervious post "Just for clarity, were the last couple of lines specifically about Jesus or a generalisation from the point made at the sermon?" The answer would probably be both. Jesus first, then extrapolate outwards as appropriate.

b. Cycling back home in the rain, wind and cold. Seeing topless people outside the house, smoking, seemingly oblivious to the weather conditions. Walk into the house, housemate's first words, "How did you not die in the rain?" Melbourne weather, I know I refer to it now and again, but seriously, it's crazy recently.

c. I have a new survival tool that goes by the name Maccas Cappucino.

d. Keep at it. Invent a cheer squad in your head when you want to give up.

e. More than the minimum.

f. Beyond Compliance.

g. Dandy...?

Hope.

Disclaimer: Contents below pertain to religion. If offended by religious ideas, please refrainer from reading. Thanks.

***

Been going to a different church service lately. Yesterday, the sermon was on 1 Thessalonians 4. There were some interesting points... some of the thoughts that were jumbling about in my mind from the sermon are as follows...

Hope these days often refers to a wishful sort of dream. "I hope the chicken tonight turns out alright", "I hope my footy team wins this weekend", "I hope to have a secure future". None of this is certain, none of it is for sure. On the other hand, according to the sermon last night, hope in the Hebrew text, referred to a certainty, guaranteed by God.

I reckon few would argue with the fact that the world is broken. Some know this brokeness more than others. Bad stuff happens. But because of hope, things will be ok.

But... things will be ok not because you'll get another job. Things will not be ok because you'll get over it. Things will be ok not because time heals.

Things will be ok because of the certainty we have in the Lord Jesus. It doesn't depend on if we are alive or not, it depends on the eternal life that hinges on the resurection.

The greatest gift in the world, offered to us. What are the chances?

***

I must say, I believe this sometimes more than others. If you're reading this and think I'm insane, don't worry, I reckon I see where you're coming from. I know though, that one cannot keep living without hope. It appears common to invent a hope, invent a purpose, just to make life worth living.

Some days I feel like I'm making it up. Some days I feel like I'm just trying to fool myself.

Today I actually believe it.

Feb 24, '09

I'm already known for quite a few things already at work.
1. Kei's always cold.
2. Kei's crazy because she doesn't eat raw eggs.
3. Kei's an Asian female.
It's funny how fast reputations develop.

"Ignorance of the law and absence of the police doesn't mean you can commit the crime," I was told today. i.e. If you are aware of something, it is your responsibility to deal appropriately with the situation. i.e to the i.e: Know about the bomb threat? Report, even if you can't be bothered.

After all that, I still can't be bothered. Why dig up buried ants?

Sweet revenge.

There's just one bad thing about revenge: guilt. The guilt of doing something wrong, the guilt of doing something you hate, the guilt of hurting someone even if you sincerely believe it is deserved.

Sweet revenge, I define, is when the aforementioned revenge is conducted by an independent third party.

Smile, justice is arriving.

Feb 21, '09

...???

!!!!!!!!!!!

@*(&*(!!!

Look to the sky. All black. All clear. Except for the one star. The one little star that has to mess up everything. One little spot that makes it no longer pure, no longer spotless. One little piece of XXXX.

"i've
become so numb
i can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
i'm becoming this
all i want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you"

Unbelievable.

The apple was told about a bomb threat. The apple knows that the orange should be informed as the orange will be in near vicinity of this said bomb. The apple knows that the orange could only possibly hear this message from the apple. But the orange hasn't really been listening to the apple. The apple also doesn't really care if the orange is splattered into six million pieces. What will the apple do?

The orchestra is playing your song. Movement by movement, piece by piece, the song unravels your story. Slides and slides of memories. even the smell is coming back.

and.that's.when.you.stop.

Feb 19, '09

Need to stop and breathe for a sec.

Wait...
Wait a bit longer...

Ok, one second is over. Back to real life.

"I'm sorry, I'm late." I hear myself saying that a lot these days.
"I'm sorry, I COMPLETELY forgot!" I hear myself saying that quite frequently these days.

It's come to the stage where I'm talking on the phone to someone and they'll ask me if I have dinner plans, and I literally need to hang up on them to check my phone diary to see if I do because my brain has seemed to have completely lost it's capability to remember short-term stuff. I'm glad we have LotusNotes and constant automatic meeting reminders at work. It saves my life.

I've decided I don't trust my memory anymore. Either that, or I have too much to remember so every detail I can possibly write down and put out of my memory, I do. Before, reminders were like: pay rent or pick up someone from airport at this time from this flight. Recently, reminders started to include things like do groceries, call XX. Even more recently, reminders became more like, call XX at 8:30pm to ask about A and B as well as to discuss C and remind to SMS D where A, B, C and D are clearly defined and written down such that there is no way I can forget.

And even with all this, I'm still always late and completely forgetting about things.

Sighs.

BED TIME.

Reminder to self, before bedtime:
- Get out tomorrow's clothes.
- Turn off computer.
- Turn off lights.
- Go onto bed.
- Close eyes.
- Think about pink elephants.

Right, better quickly get to doing that before I forget about it again.

Good night.

The furnace.

There were rows of flames shooting off the ground.
There were columns of flames spurting across the walls.

Even with the most protective of gear, one can feel the heat penetrating against one's skin, the smell of the burning is almost too much to bear.

Everything about the furnace is screaming out beware, danger, do not enter.

You inch in. You inch in closer. And even closer than that.

You are on fire. You are one with the fire.

Burning, flaming.

Slowly but surely, turning into ash.
Slowly but surely, returning to where you came from.

Want an Itunes voucher..?

Hi all,

I won a $20 Itunes voucher. I won't use it. If you could make use of it, please email me at k.ho316@gmail.com. I will post it to you, assuming it hasn't been posted it to someone else first.

Kei

Something I heard today.

"Yes, it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake but there are certain things in life where you know its a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and saym 'Yup, that was a mistake'. So really, the bigger mistake is to not make the mistake because then you go your whole life not knowing if something is a mistake."

Some of the best experiences, and most certainly, the greatest learnings, are from the biggest mistakes.

Take the risk, make the mistake.

Tommy.

Tommy went to school yesterday.
Tommy ate chocolate cake at school yesterday.

Tommy went to school today.
Tommy ate chocolate cake at school today.

Tommy goes to school everyday.
Tommy eats chocolate cake at school everday.

Yesterday, it tasted like chocolate cake.
Today, it takes like chocolate cake.
Tomorrow, it will taste like chocolate cake.

But today, there was a strong distinct jellybean aftertaste - one that goes to head, one that shakes the soul.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Tommy doesn't like jellybeans.

Feb 8, '08

- It is quite incredible the devastation the heat has caused VIC (not in a good way).
- I've decided I'm not that against Koko Black anymore. Still not a fan of their chocolate drinks, but at least they know how to make a real cappucino.
- The weather was great today. In fact last night, I just stood in the courtyard behind my house for quite a while really just allowing my skin to take in the cool air. It sent exciting signals to my brain; yes, that's how much I miss cool weather.
- Sometimes I forget why I talk to people. Yesterday I was reminded of one reason - talking sometimes leads to validation. Validation from others that you are not out of your mind and that the feelings are justified.
- First weekend as a working person was good =)

Once upon a time, there was a pig.

The pig knew a cow.
The pig knew the cow for a long, long time.

One day, the pig leaves.
The pig goes somewhere far, far away.

One day, the pig comes back.
The pig sees the cow.
The cow sees the pig.

The pig doesn't recognize the cow.

The pig is sad.

... and they all lived happily ever after.

Feb 2, '09

Lots to handle, lots to do, lots to sort out. Going to prioritize, to handle one thing at a time. Mind could probably handle about two or three things at a time, but for overall purposes, one at a time will probably prove most beneficial.

Hence, for the last week or so, have been putting away things I once considered important. Hence, for the last few days, there are so many things I have not been bothered to follow up with.

Nevertheless, these things are important. I should not forget it. I should not be lazy. I should not put it aside for too long lest I forget about it forever.

Once upon a time, I did not think it was possible. Today, I am thinking it is quite likely.

Yes, one task at a time. But don't prolong it for too long.

Don't forget, don't give up.

Some things are worth fighting for.

Happy Moo Year / Invasion Day.

Apparently everyone is "Happy Niu Year"-ing and "Australia Day-ing". I don't really like the former. Don't like the connotations. Don't really like the latter. Happy the day we took over and invaded this land? Hmm. Someone I know calls domesticated bovines "moo moo's". Hence, Happy Moo Year / Invasion Day, children.

Next week is going to be the hottest week in a century in Melbourne... maybe I should take out a bucket to catch the sweat.

Yesterday's tennis was EPIC.

Stalker alert stalker alert.

Gasp. SIGHH. OHHH. NOOOOOOOOOOO.

GASPPPPPPPPPPP.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

THE END OF THE WORLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

MARAT SAFIN IS OUT OF THE AUSTRALIAN OPENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

TEAAAAAAAAAAAAAARSSSSSSS.

How extremely devastating! gahhh! who should i go for now?

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHS.

Should have gone to at least, AT LEAST 4 sets.

I am devastated.

Go, Murray?

January 22, '08

I found out today that sitting around in the airport for 3 hours is worth it if the reward is a massive T-bone steak and lemon lime bitter.

Normality is good. I'm sleepy. Good night, children.

South Australia Scandals.

SA is very interesting. Went there recently, first time ever. It was very, very, very dry. The drive into Adelaide is very beautiful, save about the hundreds of blind insects that fly into Ollie's windscreen every few moments. It is very hilly and there are many interesting things not far from the city - e.g. national parks, beaches, wineries... all very close by.

Hilights of the trip include but are not limited to:
- Photo taking.
- The 20 minutes of silence walking alone along Henley beach.
- Whispering wall, especially for the half hour when we were the only people there.
- Learning the true definitions of cappucino, espresso, Irish coffee, and instant coffee.
- Literally stripping in Adelaide Uni in the middle of the night (~1am).
- Spending time with four goofs.

With all trips, there are some down sides. Me and the President only had 3.5 hours sleep before both long drives (drive between Melbourne and Adelaide). Not everyone was 100% healthy - sore throats, naughty stomachs and the like.

All in all, a fantastic trip. Thanks to my fellow travel buddies, Mr. President, Chief and Deputy Navigators, and the Safety Officer for making the trip memorable and fun.

Simple trig

Let: f(x) = a*sin(bx+c), where:
a, b, and c are constants, and -100 < a < 100.

Let: g(x) = 0

There are many values of x in which f(x)=100. Hurrah.
g(x) can never equal 100. In fact, g(x) can never approach any integer, except the neutral integer of zero.

Then, why not forget g(x)? Why have multiple functions when one will suffice?

The answer is, one will not suffice. Because as soon as f(x)=100, being a sine function, you know that decline is on the way. Especially when the period is small, the decline is rapid.
In fact, one could say as f(x) approaches 100, f(x) approaches -100.

Beware of f(x).
Choose g(x).
Choose the neutral integer.

Dear Readers,

Greetings. Hoping '09 has been treating you well so far. If not, not to worry, there is still over 300 days left of it for things to change.

I thought that since I haven't written to you, the reader, for quite awhile, I thought it would be appropriate to do so now. Hence, here I am, typing away in bed on my trusty little laptop. Shockingly, this rectangular device currently remains nameless, which for those of you that know me well enough, would know it is rather shocking indeed.

Recently, I have had quite a lot of questions regarding Nothing of Particular Importance. I was asked whether I felt people know a lot more about me from being a fellow reader of this site. Certainly not, I replied. Why do I write it? Because I like writing. And no, it does not take much time or effort, and no, I do not usually proofread. Hence, apologies for astounding errors in the text. Average post takes me 3 minutes to write. Shorter than a shower, and even that I do twice a day.

I was asked whether I read other people's blogs? Hm... yes, not many, but I do read some. I look at other people's photos more. Hence, if you post up photos on Facebook and I am your Facebook friend, chances are, I've looked at every single one. In fact that's what I use Facebook primarily for. I have not developed the interest in reading people's walls yet, unless something shocking comes up on my news feed... but photos have provided hours of entertainment.

Let me get back on track. I would like to add that, ideally, I should preface every single sentence I write in this blog with "I believe" as I recognize that what I write here is not fact, it is not absolute. It is my opinion, and is very much as valid as anyone person, dog, or cat's. Hence, I thank you for the comments people post, those that post it directly here, as well as the majority who choose to give it to me via other means.

Thanks for reading, and thanks also for being a part of my life. For those in Melbourne, it would be lovely to catch up soon. For those elsewhere in this great planet of ours, do drop in a line when you have a free moment. I apologize for not keeping in touch with everyone as well as I could, but know this, I would really love to hear from you. Thanks to our little friend called technology, this is actually possible.

Dear Reader, what is your resolution for '09? I sincerely hope that this year, your dreams really do come true.

Kind regards,
Kei

Falling in love.

I received a long but interesting email today. Quoting bits and pieces I can strongly identify/agree with:

"Fall in love. I didn't say 'be loved'. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone. Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable... Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.... You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart. You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you."

There's not much about the 21st Western ideas of falling in love that I really identify or agree with. I believe you cannot help who you fall in love with, but I also believe that you can choose to love anyone. It is not easy (just like my choosing not to hate), but I believe it can be done.

It can be done because loving someone is not a feeling. Loving someone is a choice. Loving someone is an attitude, a way of living. None of this butterflies in stomach, can't get you out of my head nonsense. Why? Because while exciting and fun at the time, it doesn't last. Ask those with experience. Ask those that have had their heartbroken not once, not twice, but multiple times believing in those lies.

Those that believe those lies often end up apart.

Lesson of the day

The act of hating is really quite time-wasting. It's not like I don't have better things to do or think about. Hence, I decided yesterday I would try to actively do something about it.

I decided to ask a non-hater pro his thoughts regarding the matter. You know, have a How Not To Hate 101. It was quite an interesting discussion. Various ideas were thrown around. In the end, it seemed like there was no direct solution to how to stop hating. The hatred won't go away. Certainly not now, nor in the future, and perhaps not ever.

Then what? I'm seriously not bothered to waste any more of my time with this nonsense. In fact I'm hoping this is one of my last posts about this. Thus, the idea at the end of the lesson was to focus on more on loving, as these things/objects/people are much more worth my time. e.g.

Thus, a few tributes...
To Jimmy and Ollie, my camera and car respectively.
To those that give me shelter and force-feed me.
And to those that believe in justice, those that believe in doing what is fair, and those that don't outright go out of your way to hurt/harm.

End of lesson.

How things could be.

I believe, although it might take a fair bit of imagination and effort, most of us can picture the day when things are no longer this way. The patient the day he is cured, the widow the day she no longer grieves, the heartbroken the day he has moved on. The day when things are better, the day when things improve.

Sure, it may be wishful thinking. And no, dreams don't always come true. But some do. And for those that don't, be encouraged that nightmares often subside, that at the end of a night of crying and wailing, the baby does eventually go to sleep.

We have a great asset - the ability to see how things could be.

One resolution, multiple goals.

Just one resolution because a resolution, to me, differs greatly from a goal. I guess I don't take goals very seriously. The only time I really set them was at school, when we were forced to set goals. One of those primary school assignment thingys.

Resolution, on the other hand, stems from a self-motivating determination. I rarely have resolutions. But this year, 2009, resolution will be fulfilled.

Resolution aside, many goals as well. One is to spend less time on internet. It is quite appalling how much time I spend on it. I thought about it today, and this is an approximate breakdown of internet usage:

- 40% - Strobist/Flickr/other photography related sites
- 20% - Email
- 20% - Facebook
- 10% - News
- 10% - Other (e.g. writing this nonsense)
*MSN is usually multi-tasked while doing all of the above.

Looking at the breakdown, one would think I should cut down on photography stuff, but I think that is one of the less time-wasting things when looking at the above. Hence reduce it a bit by perhaps un-joining some of the less useful discussion groups, but that's probably the extent I am willing to do there. On the other hand, I can reduce email sending to < 10 a day (for now, at least... during work it'll be about 110 emails per day but that won't count).

OH. And. I KNOW. This was recommended me by someone a few months earlier, I forgot who. I was mentioning that I don't even like going on Facebook most of the time, it's just like, I have nothing better to do so I go on it and I get quite bored. Well she recommended that everytime I feel like going on Facebook, call someone or go talk to housemates or some real person instead. I tried it for like 2 days and it was actually quite successful. Far more productive. Hm.. so maybe decrease Facebook time to 10 minutes per day, and doubling housemate-bonding activities =D Can't do that with email though because it's actually a useful communication tool rather than a stalking device.

COOL. DEAL. I will work on that.

That aside.. I got wooden glasses today. I received opinions regarding my new fashionable accesories. Apparently they make me look comical/goofy/mischievious. I should wear them when feeling "wacky" as they make me look like a cartoon character. It would be better if I had crooked teeth so I would further look like a cartoon character. Whatever the reviews, I reckon they are AWESOME. They creak and everything... just.. like.. er.. wood.. hahahaha =P

Until tomorrow night (or sometime soon), children.

Calling the Melburnians...

never fear, I am returning soon!

... those of you present in the lovely city of ours (or its surrounds) this month and are bored, please feel free to volunteer to be my clown. I will appreciate most forms of entertainment till February 2. Clowns, comedians and those that sing out of tune are most certainly welcome!

... alright, if this does not appeal to anyone, come over and I'll make you beef rice and brownies. Yes, I am kind indeed.

In conclusion. Those bored in Melbourne with summer school etc, please send me a telegram to advise me of your plans. If not possible, email might suffice. I will think about it. Facebook messages will unlikely be responded to due to my poor memory.

... OH. and. It's the Queen's birthday today. Not Elizabeth... but the one that sits on the Indonesian throne. Long live the queen, my uncle, and Ms T.

Happy 2009.

I have a sneaking suspicion... I suspect that 2009 will be a good year.

I remember this time last year. I remember thinking that I didn't think 2008 won't be good. And, looking back, it wasn't good at all, in my opinion.

But 2009 will be different. I feel it in my gut. And my gut has been spot on in the last few weeks.

I only have one resolution this year.

Happy '09, friends.