December 22, 2011.

Things have been pretty up recently. Not entirely sure why, but feeling pretty good.

I guess I feel like I've been doing some things right lately. The weather has been pretty good too. The days where it has been a bit hot for my liking I've stayed in doors, not noticing it.

Getting a new bed will probably improve things further though. The current bed I have has springs and I think the springs are giving. Making me arch down when I sleep and not sleep as well. I was thinking of taking the bed apart and just sleeping on the matress which will be a lot more comfortable but not sure I have the right tools. Will need to investigate.

Things are ok. That's what's pretty good.

December 14, 2011

Had a nice surprise today. I was told I was getting an iPad 2, or an approximate equivalent amount in cash, my choice. It feels good to be recognized. I considered the iPad but I think I will go with the cash. I'm not sure what I would do with an iPad. I can't imagine me using it that much. If anyone with an iPad thinks it's terrific let me know, I would be keen to understand what's so good about it. I don't even really know what they can do.

The window on the driver's seat of my car does not roll down automatically anymore. In the past, if you press it once, it would keep going until you pressed it again. Same with rolling it back up. Again, if anyone knows what I could've done to change this setting, let me know. I've been looking around my car to see if there is some lock function I accidentally pressed but have not as yet seen one.

Still waiting for some takers for making that cake...

Someone make this for me...

http://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/cuisine/baking/recipe/cream-cheese-chocolate-and-coffee-brownies-20111018-1lxlz.html

Please? :)

Out of the blue.

"He what?!?!"

Should I call? Should I not? I want to call. But it's a bit out of the blue. He'll think it's strange. It might be a bit awkward.

Should I call? Should I not? I want to call.

A few hours later, I pick up the phone and call.

"Hello?" A woman picks up.

I want to hang up. I identify myself and force myself to ask for him. I hadn't met her before.

"Hello?" ... and the conversation starts. It lasted a couple of minutes.

It ended with "thanks very much for your concern."

Afterwards, I was so, extremely relieved I called. Do you ever get that? When you wonder for ages whether something is a good idea, then just relieved because you know for sure you did the right thing?

Sigh of relief. On multiple fronts.

He's ok.

Lesson learned (actually not lesson learned, but lesson reinforced): Err on the side of showing you care, even if it risks appearing strange. Don't assume someone else will do it. Someone else might not. And that could lead to very bad places. And that is something is not worth risking.

Come again?

I wish you'd told me what you were about to say.

I would have stopped all that I was doing, turn to you, give you my full attention, and try my very hardest to put into my memory every detail of that moment.

But I didn't see it coming, you just spoke, and 5 seconds later, I understood what the jist of the message was but couldn't remember how it was actually said. Couldn't replay it in my head if I wanted to.

Made my day, week.. and just about month.

I'm sure you (the reader) have those moments as well sometimes. I hope you have another one soon. It's pretty awesome. Makes you feel things are worth it.

And all of a sudden, I'm a little bit angry.

Maybe it's not enough sleep. Perhaps that sparked it.

We've had some discussions at work about anger lately. It's more anger in the context of frustration. One of the leaders has been telling us that if someone starts getting angry at you, let them know it's making you uncomfortable, and if they don't respond positively, walk away right then and there. Give them some time to calm down, then go back and work things out. A lot of the times it's not personal (although not always), and often it's because they've frustrated, have worked long hours, multiple days in the row and are tired (not that it justifies anything).

Good advice. Except it works on the assumption that after they've calmed down, you can go back, have a rational conversation, work things through and move on. Probably move on to the next crisis or topic of concern, but either way, move on.

In my experience, I can calm down, forget about things, but not enough sleep (or whatever it is) can re-spark the anger and out of nowhere there's this massive fire inside about to burn.. very slowly.. slow glowing embers but destructive all the same.

At work, we say "Be safe. Stay calm. Have fun."

I am calm.

Just calmly angry.

October 30, 2011

Today was a sad day. Not just for me, but for many others. I cannot even begin to imagine how painful it must be for them.

I knew it would be difficult, but hearing the words tonight, I realize just how much he meant to me.

As I stood there reflecting, images came into my head, memories that I hadn't thought of in awhile. I recall a time, about 3-4 years ago, after a fairly horrific night I had, in which I was given his number to call in the event of another emergency. I was offered many numbers, and I wouldn't take them, but his I took, even though I didn't know him that well, he appeared trustworthy and safe. I don't know why.

I recall another time, also 3-4 years ago, in which he came up to me and asked me how I was going. We both knew that he knew what had happened. I told him I was scared, and had trouble walking around by myself. He acknowledged that it was a difficult position to be in. He appeared to understand.

There were happier memories. One time I heard him tell a children's story. A story about Santa Claus. I hadn't really seen him around children before. He was good with them.

I am immensely thankful that he has been able to be a part of my life. I am immensely, immensely thankful for the help he provided through difficult times. Sad, but immensely thankful.

I hope we do not lose perspective during this time. Let's not get side tracked on what we don't know, or infer things from what's not really there. Let's make sure we cling to what is true.

I trust that God's at work, fulfilling his good purposes.

October 25, 2011

I don't like all the highs and lows and extreme feelings. I would prefer stability. Life's not like that all the time, though, so just have to learn to manage the swings.

I've known it's hard to forgive. I've learned that I'm finding it almost impossible to forgive someone that doesn't think they've committed any wrongs, that hasn't indicated at all any recognition of the pain they've caused. I just can't do it no matter how I try.

I never knew you could look up to someone so much that it hurts. How does that work?

It's hard when you can't keep track of what's going on, it feels out of control.

I was told to take a deep breath and calm down. It works, a bit. At least momentarily.

On a high.

Bounce flowing every where at the moment. It's a bit crazy.

Waiting for the crash, but at the moment, bouncing all over the place. Will be difficult to sleep tonight, although really hoping for some good rest.

I guess I like to push the boundaries. Maybe it's not completely appropriate, maybe it's not how most people would do things, but we're getting along, life's easier this way for both of us, I like it when people are smiling like you are, why not then?

I know why not. I know very, very well why not.

The plan, therefore, is that we'll push the boundaries and see how flexible they are, but not fall off the cliff.

Excellent plan.

It's as easy as 1, 2, 3.

I don't understand why it's so hard for some people to respond to their phones.

It is extremely frustrating.

Call me, and I'll tell you why.

The green stuff.

I paid $16.5 for a vegetarian burger today.

I don't know what came over me.

My friend was quite shocked when I put out that order. Apparently I have a reputation for being a bit of a carnivore.

It was actually surprisingly good.

That's all it is - words.

I received two apologies today. One cane up to me and said something along the lines of, "I hope I didn't upset you, you know everyone gets upset sometimes". The other came up to me and directly offered his genuine apology and gave me a box of chocolates to make up for it.

I told a friend about this. She says, "Typical guys - they think can just buy you a gift and pretend like nothing ever happened." She told me about how she was fearful of seeing someone after a similar situation I had, and that really, even they semi-acknowledged that he was completely out of line with her, there was still a tension and she was in fact dreading every time they might.

Nevertheless, the two gestures, especially the latter (as it really is the thought that counts), really did do it for me. Yes, they made me feel awful. In case you were wondering - it was things they said. For the last many hours, I had kept replaying everything in my head. I really don't like confrontation. However, after the apologies, I was a lot more at peace. I could go home and eat my spaghetti bolognaise again. Makes me feel we can continue to go on. Not that we would forget it happened, but it's really close to almost.

It was really tough 24 hours ago. Ended up messing a lot of things up, things that can't be changed. But that's life and you've got to accept it and move on.

One thing I did learn from all this is how to deliver a gracious apology though. That's how I would describe the second apology - gracious. When I mess up in the future, I would hope that my apologies would be like that how his was as well.

An apology really does help. It really does make things better.

Stay calm everyone. And stay safe. Especially when driving. Roads are quite slippery these days.

Full health.

Some of you will know that I have had a back injury recently. As a result, I was not able to bend over at all from the waist.

It's quite amazing how much that can affect you. Usually, when things dropped on the floor, I wouldn't even think but would pick it straight up. Not being able to bend from the waist meant that every time I had to pick something up from the floor, I had to bend my knees and keep my back/waist very straight to ensure it was not too excruciatingly painful. Because of that I would try to optimize picking things up to minimize the number of times needing to bend over. Driving was painful but bearable - when pressing the clutch it was just a split second of pain. But simple acts like standing up, sitting down, putting on clothes was hard. Lying in bed was the best because it wouldn't hurt.

The other hard thing is that it is not immediately noticeable to other people that I had an injury. Not that I wanted attention or anything, but because of the tape and support etc was underneath my clothing, it could not be seen normally, meaning that people would bump into me and not realize the impact it would have, nor would they realize why I was walking so slow.

Almost back to full health though. Was very excited today, could take off the back support. Yay.

Good health is something I take for granted.

I'm thankful that it is almost better and that I'm healthy most of the time.

Wishing you good health as well, and stay safe.

3 day weekends.

For the last couple of days, I've been waiting to get sick.

My body had been feeling quite weak the last couple of days. Muscles felt like a cross between a withering tree and jelly.

I've been taking the last few Fridays off to deal with some things. The 3 day weekend has helped revive a bit of energy. It's not really like me to wake up and wonder what time is it and realize I'm already ten minutes late to something twenty minutes drive away.

It's Sunday night and I did not get sick. Slightly more energized.

One thing good about the 3 day weekends is really being able to appreciate the good sunshine we have been getting. Yay for spring. Stay spring, don't bring on summer yet...

How was your weekend?

Spring is in the air.

I had a long weekend - took last Friday off.

Such a great weekend to have a long weekend. Spring is here, weather was beautiful, sun was out and the temperature was just unbelievably comfortable.

Played tennis twice. Playing tennis is good for me, mentally and physically, it's a healthy channel.

Watched quite a bit of TV - Davis Cup was on. It's still on and not over for Australia yet, due to the light issues. I'm secretly going for Switzerland though...

How are you? Send me an email, let me know - I'm actually asking.

Thankful.

At home with Julia.

There's this show on ABC called "At home with Julia". It's really the most ridiculous show ever. It's supposed to be some political satire, although at times funny, is primarily, in my opinion, idiotic. I can't believe we as a nation would stoop down this low to make fun of our PM this way. It doesn't, to me, matter what your political opinions are, the fact of the matter is, her party is ruling the country in accordance with the democracy we have, so really, will we feel better about ourselves if we make a TV show portraying her partner as a bit of a second-class loser?

Rocks on shoulders worm in head mud in stomach.

Help me hear and believe the truth when the lies are so loud.

Jumping on the bandwagon.

I was listening to the ABC on the way to work this morning. The news reporter was periodically giving updates on the Women's Finals in the US Open. As I was driving off from home, Stosur had won the first set.

It was good hearing the periodic updates. It only happened because an Aussie was in the final. It was quite dramatic too, with the Serena controversy (or, perhaps, not that controversial given that most people I know don't think too fondly of her little tirade).

I arrived at a local cafe near by work. It's a humble little place, unlike these fancy places in Carlton etc with glorified coffee beens, etc. $3 for a decent, strong latte. Anyway, I go there and found a bunch of people gathered around the little TV in the cafe, watching Channel 9 broadcast the finals.

I had intentions to get to work early and get some things done, but seeing my good fortune of it actually being on TV, live, at a decent hour, I just had to pause and join the crowd. I think they were about 3 games into the second set when I got there.

It was a great game. Stosur played well. Serena was not a happy chappy, most noticeably in her tirade. It was also the 10 year anniversary of the Sept 11 attacks, so I guess it would have meant a lot to the audience there for an American to win. She did pick up her game, and fired off some really nice winners. I loved what the commentator said, "Tennis is great in the way you can channel your anger in a safe way". And that she did.

It was really interesting watching with the other people in the cafe. I didn't know these people (except for the shop owner). Most of them didn't seem to know much about the players. One went, "Is this the finals? Is there an Aussie in it? I thought we didn't have any good tennis players in Australia." He was filled in quickly by someone else, and then he pretty much jumped on the bandwagon, cheering for Stosur, commenting on her athleticism, talking about how down-to-earth she was, as if he knew her, and hi fiving with everyone else as she got some winners. That is Australia.

Ended up watching the rest of the match. Got to work a bit late, my colleague had to deal with the coffee I had gotten for him that had gone cold, but I filled him in on the final and we had another high-five.

It's just a game, but it is someone's personal victory, and it's great to have people celebrating and happy for you, albeit people that had only heard of you 20 minutes before you won yet act like they've known you their whole lives.

I love the tennis.

September 10, 2011.

http://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/life/left-behind-by-suicide-20110908-1jzhr.html

September 7, 2011.

What can I do you for?

Not much.

Ok then...

Hm, well, I guess... are you good at baking cakes?

What sort of cake?

Fudge?

Not really.

How about get me some lobster for lunch?

How about not?

That's alright, I didn't have anything in mind.

So you just came to say hi?

Yep.

Have a chocolate.

Why?

Because you've been helpful today.

Because I said hi?

Everyone else just wants something.

I know the feeling.

Have to go.

Thanks for the chocolate.

Thanks for saying hi.

________

Who am I speaking to?

Who do you think?

Oh, sorry, wrong number.

No worries.

How are you, anyway?

Pretty good, it's been fairly quiet.

So how come I don't hear from you anymore? Too good for me since..?

Never, darling.

But you've been well?

Yeah, not too bad.

Have to go.

Take care of yourself, ok?

You too, see you soon.

________

It's not reasonable, he didn't do his bit.

I'm not sure who was supposed to do what.

I'm being pushed and it's not fair.

I'm not blaming you.

You can't expect -

Calm down, I'm not saying it's your fault.

He didn't -

There's no point looking back. Let's try our best now.

He didn't -

Let's try our best now. Speak to him, sort it out.

I'll get back to you.

Old(er).

Yesterday, I went out and had a fancy lunch. It was a restaurant reviewed by Matt Preston, had fancy decor, and of which I was definitely underdressed. Wouldn't be my choice, but with getting old(er) comes having friends that eat at expensive places and drink wine for lunch. The food was good though.

Then I went to work. It was a Saturday afternoon and I generally don't believe in working on Saturdays, and certainly not on Sundays, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Getting old(er).

Looking good, mate.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/15/pretty-people-more-selfish_n_927732.html

When I grow up, I want to be...

I have a friend who's a radio DJ. And she's doing well. It's cool. Proud of her. Remembering a few years back when we were discussing our careers. I pretty much took the approach of taking the first job I got, and was likely going to stay there unless something drastic happened. She looked around and looked for lots of different opportunities.

Good to look back at how far we've come I guess.

A bit of reflection on before. Sometimes. Not excessively.

August 14, 2011.

And... apparently she knows you too.

I can keep a straight face, I have practiced a lot at work, where I pretend I know what people are talking about.

And... so I do.

I listen to what she has to say about you. I choose not to laugh out loud at some of the things she says. I choose to keep all the details inside my head.

Next time I might not be so nice.

August 13, 2011.

I was supposed to go bushwalking today.

Instead, I went and spontaneously spent $1000.

Hurting.

Fragile material.

One second, steady as a rock.

Next second, toppling over, ready for a head first crash.

This sort of inconsistent behaviour shows that overall, it is extremely fragile, ready to break.

July 14, 2011.

Tomorrow - I want things to be smooth, I want there to be no chaos, I want to know what I'm doing, I want it to work.

But, if, tomorrow, it's chaotic, if I don't know what I'm doing, if it doesn't work, and I want to hide in a hole, help me trust in You.

Please make it smooth sailing and let it work...

I don't know who you are. Unfriend.

I've been finding that it is increasingly common for people to change their names on Facebook recently. I'm not sure what that is about. It is usually a variation of their actual name or some sort of nickname they have. Sometimes the person has gotten married and changed their last name. Short of that, other name changes seem to have seemingly no relevance.

I guess I don't really see the point of it, but that's ok, it's not a big issue. It only becomes a slight issue when I don't actually know these people well. Today, there was a girl on my Facebook who's name I did not recognize. It was a strange name, as if it was a variation of her proper name. I decided to look at her photos to see if I could gain some insight. Unfortunately, my mind drew a blank even looking through about 10 photos of her. Perhaps she was one of those people that I met once and added me to her list. Either way, I decided to use the "unfriend" function, since there clearly is a gap.

That day I'll realize.

The load on the shoulders.

The darkness we thought was light.

The throbbing pain throughout our bodies, even when we thought we were young, fit and healthy.

It's very painful right now, although we don't feel it.

Perhaps being born into it, we don't know any better.

But I get glimpses of it, moments where it overwhelms me.

It's somewhat relieving.

But in that day, it'll all be made known, all be revealed.

That it hurt a lot living on earth.

Mr Grumpy.

Smart, capable, and well respected.

But I've never seen you laugh.

I think I saw you eavesdropping on a conversation I was having once with the others and giving a half-smile for a split second. But in all the time I've known you, I don't recall a big smile, and certainly not laughter.

The others say you're too serious. Why is that, I ask?

She screwed with his mind very badly. Maybe that's true, I don't know.

I don't know why, but I've been thinking about this a lot and intrigued. There's not very many people that I haven't seen laugh.

I want to get to know you better. I want to see you laughing.

It would make my day if I said something one day that had you cracking up.

What should I bring?

Being invited over to a friend's place for dinner is always nice. It's even better when they make really, really good food.

It's probably one of my favourite things to do on the weekend. Heaps better than going to a restaurant.

Had a good one of those this weekend.

New ugg boots.

Previous ones broken.

Warmer now.

Yay.

Every incident is a learning opportunity.

I think I learnt a lot this weekend. Or, rather, there is a lot from this weekend I could learn from. I'm not exactly sure what it is I learned, but I want to work out what it is to become better at these situations next time.

Perhaps if I sort out in my head what I experienced. It was talking to a lot of people in a chaotic situation where there were multiple unknowns. It was listening to lots of broken talking that didn't make much sense, but summarizing it in my own words and confirming I had understood correctly. It was about making decisions quickly, but knowing when something was not in your power to decide. It was about trying to get sleep, because sleep needed to be had, but having to get rid of the circus in the head first.

I'm not sure what I learned. But out of all that, I must have learned something. I am very keen to think about it some more so next time, I am better prepared.

Easter Sunday, 2011.

The end of Lent - I can start drinking again. Incidentally, it was a lot harder to not drink for 40 days than I expected.

But that's not what Easter Sunday means to me. It is the fact that this day commemorates the resurrection of Jesus Christ that makes it worth celebrating. Resurrections don't happen; scientifically, it's not possible. Yet it did happen, once, in history, about 2000 years ago, to one man, Jesus. The fact that it did happen, even though it can't, gives me confidence in God's promise of eternal life. It gives me hope that despite the brokeness and pain of this world, by trust in Jesus, all these things will eventually go away, where there will be safety and comfort.

The resurrection of Jesus tells me all this. It's not a feel-good exercise, it's not so I can deceive myself that there is purpose in this meaningless world. I'm not interested in that. The fact that the impossible did happen as promised, means there is actually hope for the future.

Thank you God for this Easter Sunday. Help me live for You.

"Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea,
A great high Priest whose Name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart,
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free,
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me."

Autumn songs.

It's been a bit of a dramatic weekend for my household.

People fainting, ambulance arriving, holding up a tram.
2 bee stings only 10-ish minutes apart, then another about half an hour later.
Cooking a steak well done. This was not intentional. Steaks should not be well done.

Despite all that, it was a beautiful day today. I walked outside this morning and I was like, wow autumn has sprung up overnight! Wanting to take the opportunity to take everything in before the trees become all bare.

"This is my Father's world / the birds their carols raise / the morning light, the lily white / declare their maker's praise..."

April 2, 2011.

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" - Martin Luther King once said.

If it is important, let me know as this is essentially the full extent to which I'm going to ask.

Grumble.

March 21, 2011

I have so much I could say, so much I would like to say, but I'm not allowed to say these things anymore. What I should do is pray that in time, you will find the answers to those questions.

March 7, 2011

... because it makes me feel uncomfortable.
... because last time it was an absolute pain.
... because it's not in line with my current priorities.
... because it's not in line with my future priorities.

March 4, 2011

I don't usual curse. In principle, I don't believe cursing conveys too much meaning. The English library has more than sufficient words to choose from generally to describe what one intends to convey... if we try hard enough.

When I get frustrated or fed up, I do start cursing in my head. When it gets worse, it does tend to start coming out verbally, but then I catch myself so I stop and rephrase.

A lot of mental cursing recently. Happens when a lot is going on or when you're fed up being asked the same thing, being in the same situation, time and time again.

This is a grumbling post. This is a post that achieves nothing. It is not a "let's see why you're always in the same situation and take steps to make change". It's a it's been a long week and it's time to be still and calm down.

Singapore trip.

Singapore has changed a lot since I last time came here. Lots of more bright lights and interesting architecture. I really enjoyed the Esplanade area at night. It seems that people here prefer to walk underground (shopping centre underground passes). That leaves more space outdoors. Next time, I hope to go to the top of Marina Bay Sands and take some night shots. That would be really terrific.

I took a shower at the airport. That was an interesting experience. It's good to get on the plane clean and with a healthy amount of alcohol in the system.

Always good to catch up with old friends. It appears that people don't really change. One face to face meet up is infinitely better than multiple online conversations.

One day, when I own my own place, I would like to buy one of those really old style phones (the ones where you have to swing the dial around to dial the numbers).

It's all a bit strange.

I was asking for directions. I was told to take the shuttle bus, which would take me to the MRT station which was one station before where I wanted to go. I could get off at the MRT station, then hop on the MRT and will be there after one stop. I checked google maps - 500m between one station to the next. Therefore, once I got off the shuttle, I asked which direction was I to walk to get to the next MRT station. The guy looked at me like I was out of my mind. Eventually got there. My friend asked me how I got here. I explained. Walked?! he said. No one here walks. Not even if the MRT stations are only 500 m apart.

Cars are a lot jerkier as well. Apparently it is normal to not indicate and accelerate/deccelerate randomly.

There are burgers here that don't have beef but have deep fried chilli crab.

Feb 13, 2011

Went to the MSO yesterday. It was a bit difficult to appreciate the music given that in my ignorance I didn't bring enough warm clothing. It's great that Melbourne hosts these events though.

Sometimes I really feel my job is really intense and high stress and feel (rightly or wrongly) that most people don't understand how hard it can be. I sometimes think there's not many jobs where burning yourself to death in a fired heater running at 300degC is an actual daily possibility (fortunately we are trained but still). Wanting a holiday. Sigh.

Who's in Singapore? Let me know, heading there soon and would love to meet up.

Too many inputs, can't keep up.

I have been writing emails for essentially the last two and half hours non-stop. What I try to do each weekend is to sort out my emails (personal, not work one - work I have a different system). With my personal email account, sometimes I don't have time to reply to all the emails during the week so I leave it to the weekend. I get a lot of bills to the email account now as well, and these take awhile to sort.

Today, the inbox was getting a bit too out of my control for my liking though. Because gmail isn't that sophisticated, I find I need to keep a quite condensed or else I can't see which ones need urgent attention. Thus I went from the top dealing with each email (replying, deleting, transferring relevant info, etc).

The problem was... I couldn't keep up!! Before finishing one, I would get a new email! This went for a few emails, and two and a half hours later, I have finally finished. I did this exercise just a few days ago, I really didn't expect it to take this long, but it's really showing to me that I don't know what's going on, but since the beginning of this year, it's been getting a lot longer to manage. Even the last 5 minutes of writing this I have received another email...

The purpose of writing this is really do communicate my amazement at this phenomena. I consider myself someone that types fairly quickly and don't really have this problem. But it gets difficult when you've got to keep track of emails, SMS's, phone calls, etc.

I think it makes it harder for the mind to stop because unconsciously I'm worried I forgot something - e.g. today, I remembered I forgot to reply an SMS that was sent to me yesterday as I was busy dealing with another piece of technology at the time.

There has got to be a better system. I am a fan of systems, because good systems make things easy, and a lot of things are already hard enough, so where possible, go with the easy option.

Feb 6, 2011

Someone lent me a book recently titled "Difficult Conversations - How to discuss what matters most". Apparently it is a New York Times bestseller so I really should devote a bit of time into reading it. I believe there would be a lot I could learn from as well. Alas, I'm not a big reader.

Another weekend of crazy Melbourne weather. Love it, except of course for the bits that damages lives and property.

Google Chrome, why didn't I download you earlier? Would've saved so much time and frustration.

:)

My hero!!!!!!!! :(

Roger Federer is out of the Aussie Open!! BOOOOOOOOOO! :(:(:(

BOO.

Sigh. I was hoping it was going to be his year again given Nadal got out. The Nadal vs. Ferrer match was actually a bit sad - Nadal looked like a sad, confused puppy. I felt for him even though I'm not his greatest fan.

Now the Fed Express is going home too! :(

BOO.

I've kind of lost interest now in the remainder of the men's tennis.

Na Li all the way for Saturday's women's finals!

Unhealthy obsessions.

I believe I have a few of those.

I'll speak of one that is perhaps less controversial.

Roger Federer. He's got to win the Australian Open. If he doesn't win, Rafa had better not win. Reason is - Roger is the man! I was so excited that I got to see him live again, It was a brilliant game, and it was the almost historical defeat of Roger Federer in a second round of a grand slam... which apparently has not happened since 2003/4-ish... but he was the Fed Express and pulled through! Great game, and the loss of voice the following day was completely worth it. Good luck Mr Fed in your semifinal!!!

Speaking of tennis, Na Li has been on fire as well. Go Na, make China proud!! She's quite a funny one actually, I like her interviews. And Fed's as well, he's awesome.

Certainly an unhealthy obsession I have with the man, however, it is only a couple of times a year.

Better stick to the less controversial unhealthy obessions.

Jan 22, 2011

Take out the knots in my back.
Remove the pebbles in my head.

Make me interested.
Make me respectful.

To stop being irritated.
To relax and take things less seriously.
To be a more pleasant person.

To stop the anxiety and replaying scenes.

For a better week ahead.

Focus on the learnings.

There is a heavy emphasis at work to focus on the key learnings from situations - whether the situations are positive or negative.

If something goes well, especially if it goes surprisingly well, the question to ask is "Why"? What are the key takeaways such that this can happen again. If something goes wrong, e.g. a process upset, a safety incident, an equipment breakdown, etc, while the response in the first instance is to fix the immediate problem, the thought process after the immediate problem is resolved is to ask the questions of why this occured, what are the key learnings, and how to avoid a repeat incident. The thinking is that no mistake should ever happen twice.

I'm going to try and make that a focus for 2011 - work and non-work. At work, it will be easier to do, as we have systems and procedures out of every incident to make sure learnings are captured and acted on. For non-work items, I will need to make an effort such that where possible, every time something goes wrong, try to direct the thinking to, "Why did this happen? What can I learn from this? What actions will I take to prevent a repeat incident?" It may seem like a bit of a mundane task, or perhaps even a bit excessive, but from what I have seen, it really is very valuable and ultimately can save a lot of additional work and heartache.

On a slight tangent, I feel like I'm learning a lot of really good skills from work which can be extended to everyday living - the focus on safety, the emphasis on meeting commitments, learning from incidents.

At the end of the day, it's to make things easier for everyone. There's enough uncontrollabes in the world. Might as well make what can be controlled easier, especially for the things that don't take too much effort.

No repeat mistakes in 2011.

Too much information.

This is really in the information age. I don't know if I've posted this before, but I heard of a statistic from a training course I went to a few weeks ago that the amount of information in a typical metropolitan weekend newspaper (e.g. The Age) contains more info than someone in the 1900's would've been exposed to in their life.

I'm finding myself constantly filtering because I cannot take in and remember so much information. This comes in the form of learning a way to only hear the relevant/important parts of conversations, scanning emails only for points of interest, reading emails only when I am about to reply them, etc.

I'm finding it very difficult to read even a chapter of a book from first sentence to last because it is much easier to scan/skip around.

Then of course, there's the sort of information you really prefer not to hear but it's generally you're not able to stop it in time. This usually happens in online conversations where there is the time delay such that you can't block your ears (in this case, eyes) in time and the information is out there.

Thanks, but I didn't really need to know.