Believe in the existence of God. Check.
Believe that Jesus came into the world to die for humanity's sins. Check.
Believe that if we turn our lives to Christ, we will have eternal life. Check.
Believe that if we do not repent, we will go to hell. Check.
Turn life to Christ? No check.
Mind's believes in certain consequences of certain action. But the muscles/thoughts/energy driving certain action is currently completely independent of the mind's beliefs. Why? Don't know. How to change? Don't know.
Perhaps queries on the goodness of God, on whether he is fair, on whether he can be trusted... all those are just excuses to justify inaction. Perhaps I don't really care about God. Perhaps I don't really care about following him. And perhaps I don't really care about the consequences of this attitude of indifference. Tried a lot to change. Change isn't coming. Time to stop trying.
On an unrelated note, I drove to uni today. That's right. Far too cold to walk or cycle. Let's save the environment all the way.
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