Monsters in NSW.

The monsters in NSW are different to those in VIC.

In VIC, the monsters are largely noctural by nature. It is in the darkest part of the night that these monsters are most active. However, in NSW, while monsters do appear at night, they also wander around during the day. In fact, NSW monsters don't seem to need sleep at all.

VIC monsters tend to like to make their habitat around stationary objects, in particular, furniture. Hence, they can often be found under the bed, hanging off from ceiling lamps and behind cupboards. In NSW though, monsters prefer living near moving objects such as vehicles that move 100km/hr.

Contrary to popular opinion, monsters aren't all that selfish. In fact, they like to share. Hence, each vehicle may have at times up to ten monsters. The biggest, scariest monsters get the largest, but not necessarily fastest moving, vehicles - trucks, lorries, trains.

What to do, what to do? Take the back seat. Shut your eyes. Think of a tropical rainforest, far, far away. You're not in NSW. You're not in Australia. There are no monsters.

The truth is, though, you are in Australia. You are in NSW. You are sitting in a car where the monsters are attacking you, no matter where you are - driving the car, in the back seat, in the boot, on the roof. No point pretending it's not there. No point trying to fool yourself.

There are monsters in New South Wales.