Sup, dawg?

I learnt today that cat urine glows in the dark. Not sure whether or not this is true, but such a phenomenon would never even be dreamt up for dogs. You see, glittering bodily fluids would just be too far-out for dogs. Dogs you see, are down-to-earth, loyal beings. They're comforting and warm.

Of course, this is a generalization. For example, I know of a Maltese that brings the word "shriek" to a whole new level. This Maltese is a rather easily excitedly little creature, always ready to pounce on whoever and whatever is in sight. In fact, the motivations behind many of the dog's interactions is often questionable.

Malteses aside, most dogs are warm and friendly. I know of a white golden retriever that fits the description. When you are sick, lying on the couch, ready to drown out the world, retriever boy is there looking over you. When you are sad, overwhelmed with grief, you can just about hear him whimper as well. When you have just about lost all hope, him being at your side gives you that little push to keep going on.

Retriever boy can't cure your cold, retriever boy can't make the pain go, retreiver boy can't make everything fall into place. All he can do is be there. And that is more than enough.

Just smile. Just grin. Just ask him, "Sup, dawg?"

Home Alone.

That's me tonight.

Some have gone to church. Others to relies house.

Tonight, it's me and my laptop.

Silence.

Been writing out this post, deleting it, and re-writing it over and over.

But don't have the words.

That's. Just. How. It. Is.

When the fog lifts...

It's good, right? When the fog lifts?

Wrong.

Sure, when it is foggy, you can't see what's ahead of you and the world is a very confusing place. You don't know where you are, you don't know what's going on, you don't know what to do.

But at least, when it is foggy, there is hope. There is the hope that when the fog lifts, you will see a peaceful, windy creek. There is hope that when the fog lifts, pictureseque mountains will flood your vision. There is hope that when the fog lifts, there will be a glittering waterfall flowing right in front of your eyes.

The fog lifts. However, it's not creeks, mountains or waterfalls that you see. Instead, you see a war-torn zone with bomb craters everywhere and people decomposing slowly but surely all around. When the fog lifts, everything becomes clear, everything makes sense. When the fog lifts, you know what is going on. When the fog lifts, all hope is lost.

Of course, the war-torn zone can be rebuilt, perhaps not with creeks, mountains, and waterfalls, but it can be made into some place that is at least semi-habitable. Unfortunately, you cannot rebuild it alone. You need other people's help. But you are worried that people won't want to help. You are worried that people will look at the war-torn zone, give up, and walk away. Because people always leave.

There is no point rebuilding the zone for just one person. There is no point, after the fog lifts.

There is no hope, after the fog lifts.

Further NSW Phenomenon.

Asides from monsters, there are other interesting occurences in NSW. In no particular order:

Random water fountains, fresh and juicy oysters, mango beer, beautiful gardens, hedges cut out in the shape of "sex", magnificient nightviews, monkey pubs, masculine beaches, fantastic sunsets, unbelievable Korean food, stunning waterfalls, non-alcoholic beer sculling phenomenon.

Much can be learnt from travelling to NSW. In no particular order:

The term "yumsters", trusty Gossip Club, that Wednesday is humpday, how 'I don't like your pants' can be a compliment, oxytocin being a stress-reliever, what a lactavist is, sheesh-fajitas, the importance of frickin'-KIV, that some people are very "theck-thee" at night.

A memorable trip.

Monsters in NSW.

The monsters in NSW are different to those in VIC.

In VIC, the monsters are largely noctural by nature. It is in the darkest part of the night that these monsters are most active. However, in NSW, while monsters do appear at night, they also wander around during the day. In fact, NSW monsters don't seem to need sleep at all.

VIC monsters tend to like to make their habitat around stationary objects, in particular, furniture. Hence, they can often be found under the bed, hanging off from ceiling lamps and behind cupboards. In NSW though, monsters prefer living near moving objects such as vehicles that move 100km/hr.

Contrary to popular opinion, monsters aren't all that selfish. In fact, they like to share. Hence, each vehicle may have at times up to ten monsters. The biggest, scariest monsters get the largest, but not necessarily fastest moving, vehicles - trucks, lorries, trains.

What to do, what to do? Take the back seat. Shut your eyes. Think of a tropical rainforest, far, far away. You're not in NSW. You're not in Australia. There are no monsters.

The truth is, though, you are in Australia. You are in NSW. You are sitting in a car where the monsters are attacking you, no matter where you are - driving the car, in the back seat, in the boot, on the roof. No point pretending it's not there. No point trying to fool yourself.

There are monsters in New South Wales.

P.S.

Still in Melbourne, leaving shortly. But while I am waiting for my fellow companions to finish gobbling down their gourmet IH lunch, I thought I would say a few more things.

Feeling really happy for someone right now. Really, really happy. =)

Also, someone just asked for clarification about a previous post. Their understanding of the post was completely contrary to what I intended. Thus, I am grateful they decided to ask. Moral of the story to readers: If you are not sure what I am talking about, please ask.

Seriously. Few things better than feeling happy for someone. Yay! Or "yey", as one of my funny friend spells it =P

Rightio - later, Melbourne. For real, this time.

Missing You.

Leaving Melbourne for awhile. I'll miss it. It wasn't voted most liveable city in the world a couple years back for no reason.

Change of scene is good though. Looking forward to observing a new place, tasting new food, taking serious photographs.

As mentioned in previous post, this blog often lies. Choose wisely what to believe.

Will be back on the 22nd. Leaving again on the 25th. But back shortly after for Week 9.

I'll miss you.

Marriage.

Someone just told me they wanted to marry me. Unfortunately, they are already seeing someone. There are a lot of things that many people consider to be wrong that I approve of (or at least condone). Marrying someone that is unavailable is not one of them.

On top of that, there are futher problems with the above proposition. Firstly, one cannot be legally married to two people. And, as someone told me recently, "Break the rules, just abide by the law." Thanks for the offer of a criminal record, but no thanks. The other thing is, I don't particularly want to get married right this second. Thus, it'll just have to be beef rice.

It made me think though. I remember Felix telling me that a sign of progress is gaining interest in marriage. I was told by Felix's friend today that I was making progress.

I suppose the two are vaguely correlating. Not in a direct, proportional sort of manner, but a vague trend can be seen. Less exasperated by seemingly ridiculous propositions, more tolerant of the topic in general, etc.

I hear wedding bells. Oops, that was the ice-cream man.

--
Caution: http://www.k-ho316.blogspot.com/ often lies. Choose carefully what to believe.

Sept 13, '07

This week is going better than I thought it would.

Been living in the 24 hour computer lab because laptop is beyond repair. It is surprising how many people are still there in the middle of the night. Unlike during the day, people there at night are actually working. Frantically, in fact. During the day, half the people are on facebook, the other half on hotmail. Yesterday was my last night there, though. I have shocked myself by finishing both my assignments one day early. Thus, as of 8:30pm tonight, I will be free.

It was raining hard the other day. Riding my bike in rain, tearing up a bit because of the strong wind, but feeling comforted because it was familiar. This recent sun has been a bit disturbing.

On the job front, I am fortunate enough to have a job offer. It is not the one I want, in fact, I really don't want it. I am still waiting to hear from one, and have another interview today for another, but if all fails, at least I will have vac work this summer. I'm grateful for that. A lot of my int'l student friends have trouble even getting an interview because of visa issues.

Would like to wish someone HAPPY BIRTHDAY two days ago. I'm sure you had a great one. But guess what, next week will be even better!!! =D

Been waking up these days not knowing where I am - both in space and in time. Maybe it's all the dreams - dreams taking me all around the world, all through time. Vivid dreams, so that when I wake up, I've completely lost all sense of where I am.

Huge relief that this week is ending. I guess I'm just relieved I finished the QCM assignment. Was worried previously that I wouldn't even have all the words to submit. But I guess I work well under pressure. It is not going to get me a good mark - any assignment that I'm supposed to do in four weeks but I crammed in four days just cannot be that fantastic. But the 3000 words are there (actually, over word count), and I will read it again later to edit it, since I was half asleep when I wrote it last night.

Next week will be different. Change is good.

Monster Clarification.

Misunderstandings arose from the previous post. Hence, I would like to make the following clarifications:

1. I do not believe in monsters.
2. I do not own a dagger, and even if I did and knew how to use it, I would not use it.
3. The previous post was a metaphor that the majority would not understand.

I am considering stopping posting here. It is leading to a bit too many misunderstandings. While I attempt to keep all readers in mind when I write it, I often don't have enough brainpower.

This is, however, one of the the more appropriate and civil forms of expression I currently have. Until I have another means of expression, I will continue posting.

I recognize, though, that it is not sustainable in the long-term.

Monsters Under the Bed.

There are. Monsters, I mean. Under the bed.

In fact, not just under the bed. In the wardrobe. In the desk drawers. Hanging down from the ceiling light. In every corner of the room. As long as it is dark, they're there.

The monsters aren't the cute, fuzzy, cuddly type. Not like Sully, the monster in Monster's Inc. No, these monsters are big, scary, and attack all things living.

It's hard to get the monsters to go away. You can bash them with a stick, but they bounce right back. You can yell at them with all your might, but they roar back in such a way that it makes you shrink to the ground. You can try on several sets of clothing aiming to camouflage yourself under your blanket, but they have some sort of special vision that makes even your best attempt useless.

It's not a lost cause though. There are a few things you can do to make things better. You've been told that you can condition your mind into thinking that the monsters aren't there. Unfortunately, you're not an idiot. You know they are real, and no matter how hard you try, you cannot fool yourself into believing such nonsense.

You can also distract yourself with scarier, more horrifying things. Watching horror films, for instance. Reading murder mysteries. Doing anything to get your mind off these gigantic, looming beings. Of course, that doesn't get rid of your fear.

You can engage in painful activities. It's like trying to stop a headache by punching yourself in the face. You're so busy screaming in pain from the punch that you have completely forgotten about the headache. You've done this, and while it is an option, you know it is not sustainable.

There's another option though. One that involves a special dagger. This special dagger has unique properties. While bashing and yelling doesn't get rid of the monsters, apparently if you throw this special dagger at the correct speed and at the correct angle, the monsters' necks slice nicely and evenly apart. They fall to the ground, helpless.

Good news - You have the dagger. In fact, it turns out that you're quite a natural in terms of dagger-throwing. You've got the speed right, you've got the angle right, you've even got the pro look going on.

There's just one problem - there's a rule that strictly forbids you from using the dagger.

You were never much of a fan of rules. You always preferred voluntary discipline rather than having to follow a list of commands. It certainly doesn't help that you are terrified by the monsters. It doesn't help that the rule makes you angry. It doesn't help that you think the rule is stupid.

You've been told to break the rule. You've been told that rules are meant to be broken, as long as you abide by the law. But you respect the rule-maker. And the rule-maker likes the rule.

And so you put the dagger aside. Your house has one less mug. The monsters under the bed stay.

Sept 9, 07.

Laptop broken. Fault lies with me. Currently using housemate's. Spent awhile trying to change the font colour so it was no longer pink. Could not take myself seriously using that bright of a colour.

Feeling rather unwell. Perhaps it's those strawberry stick things I just ate. 0.0001% strawberry and 0.9999% sugar. That might be overestimating it.

There's one thing I really miss about living in IH - being able to sit outside and work. Stood outside my house today for awhile, but the environment is such that you wouldn't sit there for long, unless watching L-platers attempt to manouevre cars fascinates you.

Angry. Was told that I should just say it when I am, rather than having people read between the lines, so there it is - I am angry.

Things that have made this weekend slightly more survivable:
1. Mackers along the Yarra.

Someone teach me not to think.
Someone teach me to sleep.

Time to give up.

All, all, alone...

HELPLESS. HOPELESS. USELESS.

Too too too too TOO HARD.

How is it that it is so easy for most people???

Smart people know their limitations. Smart people know when to stop trying. Smart people know when to give up.

Time to throw bricks. Time to crack skulls. Time to give up.

Just move on.

I miss my bike. The one that was taken away from me last semester.

There's a new one. A red Anacaconda that someone kindly lent me for an unspecified, and perhaps an indefinite, period of time. It runs, it's my size, it looks cool. In fact, lots of people at uni have had many positive comments about my "bright new bike". But it's not the same.

There are a few issues with it. First of all, the gears aren't working properly. I have given up changing gears - I've just picked one that works on relatively flat ground, and treat other terrain as good exercise. Rather than that than earth-shaking rattling noises throughout the entire duration of the ride. Also, the lock is very difficult to use - both in actually locking the bike (the keys have to be balanced in a very fine position for it to lock) and also in placing the lock in the lock holder - it just doesn't want to go in. The other thing is, I've seriously never had so many accidents on a bike before.

However, even if the gears were fixed (if anyone could help in this regard, I'd be extremely grateful) and the lock replaced, it's not my blue Shogun. Small things - handles don't feel right, it doesn't make the same sound when gears are changed, even when I walk the bike, it feels very different.

Be grateful that I have a working, good bike right? Just move on?

I can't even get over my bike.

How will I ever get over more important things than that? How will I ever move on?

Today's unconnected thoughts.

Someone's working for the American Chamber of Commerce. That someone is quite an entertainer. An entertainment wizard, one might even say. Might take up this someone's offer for being my personal clown for the month. Clowns provide relief. Relief is good. Brought a smile to my face today.

Seriously, seriously need to wake up. Fully slept in one class today - I think I even had a dream. Then, decided to go home, skipping the next class because I was just far too tired. Went back to uni in the afternoon and found out just how fun it is to take a test when you're feeling dizzy and about to collapse any second. The first bit was a group test, and thanks to my extremely nice test partners, they were happy with me not thinking, just lying on the floor and writing whatever they told me to write. Unfortunately, the second section was individual report writing. It is unbelievable how difficult it is to string sentences together when your head is spinning and you want to vomit. Oh well. Makes you appreciate good health.

Currently very, very full. Had a very healthy diet today, comprising of coffee for breakfast, a chocolate biscuit for lunch and a massive slice of chocolate peanut butter cake for dinner. Turns out someone's quite a chef. Hmm. Part of the domestication, eh? Oh, forgot to say, the second part of dinner was an IH high table bread roll hand-delivered to my door.

Still haven't started on that bionano assignment. I figure I will become more efficient as time runs out. Not too worried, somehow always manage to pull something off. Bad attitude, though, I know.

Have had the song "爱的就是你" by 王力宏 stuck in my head for the past three or four days. Oh, Char, forgot to sing it to you when you came over just now. You know how I was supposed to declare my undying love for you. Oh well, next time. For now, you'll have to deal with my blog expressing my heartfelt feelings towards you. Here goes: "在爱的幸福国度, 你就是我唯一, 我唯一爱的就是你". Corny song, but catchy.

Sleep. Sleep. SLEEP.

Attention: CHRISTIANS.

Stop inviting me to your church. Your Bible study. Your evangelism event. Your prayer meetings. Your outreach activities. Just leave it.
*Exception: CU people and events.

Why? Because I think it's ridiculous. Ridiculous that you have so many things on that the only time you can "catch up" is at a church event. I think it's ridiculous that you have to ask me what I would like prayer for. It's ridiculous, because, hey, guess what, a real friend would know. It's ridiculous that you're so busy saving the world that you don't even realize when the worlds have already crashed on the people right beside you.

Oh, for those of you that don't know, I'm a Christian too. The inconsistent church go-er sort. But I believe in God, Jesus, all that, and it isn't a "feel-good" thing. It's not that I'm tricking myself into believing it as a means to comfort myself, as if to fool myself into thinking that life has meaning. No, call me crazy, but it's actually because I 100% honestly think what the Bible says is true.

Why is it that people that aren't Christians seem to have time? Why is it that they are there when the world is collapsing?

And why am I wasting time writing this nonsense??? I was told by multiple people yesterday that I am really screwed if I have not started the bionano assignment. Unfortunately I don't care much, or at all, about quartz crystal microbalances and Saubrey equations.

So, who wants to come to church with me on Sunday? -_-;;

It's like one of those old films.

The black and white ones. The ones before they had sound. Or, if there was sound, the sound was muted.

The film is supposed to be telling a story, but you don't know what's happening. Or, if you do, you don't care.

You don't care if the hero catches the thieves. You don't care if the leading man gets the beautiful girl. You don't care if the soldiers win the war. They're merely images, slowly moving by.

The film finally comes to an end. The thieves have been thrown into prison, the man has kissed the girl, victory has been won. Or so you guess, anyway. Doesn't matter, don't care.

The credits roll.

The screen turns grey/fuzzy.

Static.