The Chemical.

Like a chemical that slowly creeps through my body. An actual, physical feeling. Something that literally makes my shoulders feel heavy, that makes my head hurt, that makes my body want to crumble.

Levels of this chemical fluctuates. It is like the tide. Sometimes the tide is high. Sometimes it is low. But the constant is that it is always there.

I'm learning, though. In the past few months, I have experienced this chemical often enough so now I can feel it coming. And I have learnt ways to push it away before it overtakes me.

I fear this chemical. Because if it comes too fast, or if I don't catch it soon enough, it consumes me.

But I have been learning.

This chemical will go away.

Eventually.