My Little Halogen Heater.

I recently made a very good purchase, a little halogen heater.

It's a pretty funky little object. It rotates, for one. Not a 360 rotation, but just enough to promote sufficient heat circulation without you going dizzy looking at it. It has a safety grill, which is good as I am often quite clumsy and can have papers flying everywhere. It also lights up, and the brightness of the light depends on the wattage you set it to. For those of you that have visited my current residence, you may understand how a little extra light is more than welcome.

People find warmth through different means. As for my two cents (probably a cent and a half, but anyway), when you find that little extra warmth, try hard not to let it go. You may still shiver - but perhaps what you had hoped for was unrealistic, perhaps what you dreamt of did not exist. Just because you didn't manage to catch a sun ray or name a star after you, it doesn't mean the little halogen heater has no use.

It's amazing how much a little extra warmth can do.

Once you find some, yes, even if it is a humble little halogen heater, try hard not to let it go.

Taco and Pudding - I MISS YOU!

Webcammed with my cuzzie tonight. Rather, I webcammed with her dogs. PUDDING AND TACS I MISS YOU!

I like how they love people. They follow people all around the house. When someone enters a prohibited area (e.g. bathroom), they know not to go in, and so sprawl themselves on the ground, right outside. After my shower, I've completely forgotten about them, but when I open the door, I see them quickly jumping to their feet, looking at me expectantly, ready to keep going.

I like how they are best friends. I like how, every morning, they leave some of their food from their own bowl so that the other can have the rest. I like how they wrestle and play with each other. I like how Taco, being big and tall, follows lil Pudding around knowing Puds is boss. I like how they snuggle close and fall asleep together every night.

I like how they have a good nature. I like how raised voices, violent motions and arguments anger them. I like how they can distinguish between excitement and unwanted chaos.

I miss seeing their tails wagging. I watching them fool around outside. I miss hearing dog sniffles from under my bed.

I miss always having someone to hug at home.

Tacs and Puds - stay cool, crazy fellas. SEE YOU SOON.

Meaningless.

i.e. No meaning.

There's enjoyment. There's fun. There's relaxation. But I have learnt that it doesn't last.

When it comes down to it, there is no meaning.

Life is meaningless.

Missing Keys.

Lost my keys today. I reckon it's about 100km north of Melbourne. No real way to find it. Lost cause.

The missing keys will cost me approx. $100, because one of the keys, I was the only that had a copy. Thus, will need one new lock + getting new keys to the other locks.

I was rather irritated at it. I mean, that's $100 for absolutely nothing. I mean, I'd rather spend $100 on something worthwhile. I'd rather give someone I know $100 for fun rather than some locksmith.

Two people gave me rather interesting insights though:
1. "Don't worry, you'll earn that back in less than half a day next year!"
2. "Don't worry too much, at least it's keys you lost, and not your friends."

Good point. Still irritated. But a bit less.

Not sure 'bout God.

Do I believe in God? If "to believe" encompasses only "to believe in the existence of", then yes, I believe in God. But if it includes trusting, giving your life to, etc etc, then not really.

In general, I do believe in what the Bible says. Yup, call me crazy, but I believe in creation, the resurrection, the crazy miracles, all that. But the thing is, God doesn't seem very fair to me.

God commands people to love him. But not everyone is given equal chance to do that. Some living in very remote/poor places have no access to the Bible. Some people just think and philosophilize a lot about these issues, making it more likely that they encounter God.

I see lots of people living pretty satisfactory lives. Perhaps not happy, or completely content, but they are, in general, satisfied. These people often just have no desire to get to know God. Many aren't brought up in religious settings, many have had bad experiences with the church.

Not everyone has equal access to God. It is easier for some to love God than others. Seems like God's not really being very fair.

And this doesn't even consider whether the command to "love God" is even fair.

When the Righteous fall.

There are some that I call "The Righteous".

From an outsider's point of view, The Righteous have it all together. Their lips are always curved up in a smile, they always say the right things, they have their lives together.

Then there are the normal citizens. For argument's sake, I will call them the Unrighteous. Now you may have guessed, the Unrighteous doesn't know how to smile. The Unrighteous always says the wrong thing. The Unrighteous seems only be to be good at one thing - messing the society, hurting the world, more and more each day.

As a result, the Unrighteous feels intimidated by the Righteous. The Unrighteous feel inferior to the Righteous. The Unrighteous cannot relate to the Righteous.

One day, the Unrighteous finds out that the Righteous is not righteous at all. In fact, it appears that the Righteous has an awful history, a shameful past, something that has been attempted to be hidden for many, many years.

Yes, it is something the Righteous is ashamed of. Yes, it is something the Righteous would not want to do again. But the Unrighteous is glad to know of it. The Unrighteous is glad to know that even the Righteous are human, even the Righteous fall.

Singaland Adventures - Part III.

I was asked what I learnt / took away from Singaland. In no particular order, and in varying degrees of significance:

- Singaland service is great - people are so friendly.
- Humour in Singaland is very different from that which I'm used to.
- Some people are worth it. Most aren't. Must lower expectations.
- Try to value others. Keep trying, even when it's unreciprocated.
- Tiger beer is rather appalling.
- Mambo is Mambo. Enough said.

No More.

The criminal doesn't always caught. The criminal doesn't always get what he/she deserves. Innocent people often pay for crimes they didn't commit. But, not always,

Things that were said/done ages ago, things that you tried to hide.. can come out.
Secrets you hoped people would keep, well, sorry, it's too late.

Stupid. Loser. Idiot.

No more.

Traitors.

Liars, traitors, cold-hearted don't-carers.
Cannot be trusted, cannot change.
That is the case. That is all.
No more.

Singaland Adventures - Part II.

Songs of the Sea is amazing stuff. So impressed.

I've been told I'm quite patient. Other people in my position might have slapped someone by now. I don't think I'm particularly patient, I am just too busy observing and being amused to be too irritated. People are interesting.

One of the many adventures of the day: Wandering about an island looking for someone's lost key. When finally found, the happy camper attributed to the loss of the key to "being in love". Sigh.

I'm spending a lot of time with someone that enjoys talking to herself. Rather bizarre, but she's cool school. Never have to explain everything. Occasionally explain one or two things. Usually there is an understanding, if not, compromise is always quickly reached. Awesome possum.

Singaland Adventures - Part I.

It is interesting being a tourist. Everything can be interesting.

Example: taking a bus. Everyone walks briskly on the bus, swipes their card on the machine thing quickly and takes a seat without thinking twice. As a tourist, you go on the bus, enquire on the fare, bus driver patiently waits for you to figure out the difference between foreign coins, and instructs you exactly where to put the coins and where to obtain the receipt. Meanwhile, other passengers are shaking their head, thinking, "Stupid tourists." It is fortunate that my sense of direction is not too appalling. Slight glitch today in where to get off the bus, but worked out quickly what to do. The bus experience was an adventure.

Singaland is in so many ways like Hong Kong that it is scary. The way the people walk around quickly, with determination, carrying heaps of designer brand shopping bags. Food is never in shortage. In the city, short shorts are everywhere, while in the more "suburban areas", pyjama -looking attire is apparently acceptable.

I made a friend yesterday. She's pretty cool. Apparently she was scared at me at first. She told me later on in the night, "I was scared of you when I first met you cuz you dressed scarily." It wasn't my fault I was at a party where the theme was "Unglamorous". She warmed up to me after I decided to call her Johnny. We totally hit it off when I let her call me Shaunny. Made me work really hard though. Made me crawl on the floor like a crab, made me wrestle, thought that tickling me was the world's greatest game, oh and made me draw robots. Oh, she's six years old.

Singaland is really green. That's the first thing I noticed.

Insomnia.

Fun.

...

Sighs.

Wimbledon 2008.

Some sensational matches, this Wimbledon. Some absolutely unbelievable plays by some absolutely unbelievable players.

The hilight for me was certainly the men's singles final. During the tiebreak of the third set, I was so sure that I was about to witness the downfall of a champion. Yes, all winning streaks will come to an end, but in straight sets? It was a horrifying thought. Fortunately, I was wrong, and Federer took both the third and fourth sets in the tiebreaks.

Massive respect goes out to Nadal - fighting back after losing many opportunities to break, 3 or 4 matchpoints, and from coming back in the fifth after being two sets up initally. Massive respect for Federer too - certainly not a good day for him; it was probably his serves that saved him from a greater loss. But the ability to remain calm, and saving himself from so many potential disasters - amazing. Perhaps one of my greatest admiration of the two players were the humility they displayed throughout. Great sportsmanship.

Another hilight of the tournament - the reappearance of Safin. Ohmanohboy is he my all-time favourite player. Making it through to the semi-finals was totally unexpected, since the draw put him in a second-round clash with Djokovic. Bonus points for Safin for knocking out the knocking out that arrogrant lil' guy.

Another pretty cool thing was Zheng Jie, a 25 year-old from China, ranked 133 in the world, made it to the semi-finals. The loss to Serena Williams, although only a two-set loss, was still pretty close in my opinion. Certainly a great effort.

I always get some post-open withdrawal symptoms after Wimbledon and the Australian Open. Hmm... until next year then.

Cricket Chatter.

In Melbourne, crickets make sharp, distinct noises. The rhythym is irregular and the pitch fluctuates. It is as if they are engaging in a rather interesting and passionate conversation.

In China, the sounds the crickets make are more muffled, more indistinct. The pitch, on the whole, is lower. Monotone, constant, but slowly getting softer, slowly fading away - it is as if they are struggling to even stay alive.

The cricket can all chatter, the cricket can all produce some noise. But listen closely - what they're saying is not the same.

Listen to the breathing. Listen to the small gasps of air the Chinese cricket suck in between each whimper. Listen closely and you will hear - some.crickets.are.not.ok.

July 1, 2008.

Two pretty awesome people are 21 today. Not with either of them, unfortunately, but am thinking about them on their special day and hoping for great things to come their way this year. Happy birthday, pallies =)

Went away this weekend to the Grampians with a pyschopath, a pregnant man, a sexy-double-legged-lady, and one who is rather attached to the toilet. Three seconds of peace was felt while watching the sun rise from Wonderland car park. The colours were astounding.

And now, I will now be temporarily fleeing the cold.