Dec 22, '09 - Part B

I realized I have more to say. Been lacking in words lately but maybe now it's coming together.

Help me help you. Help others help you. Make it easier for them to help you, because someone wants to. I know it's hard.

For me, I've found it hard when I feel people don't have time, or when they don't seemingly don't care. Or perhaps they have enough problems. But I guess a lot of the time people seem "too busy" or "don't care" simply because they don't know. They don't it's hard, they don't know it's painful. I know it's not easy to say it hurts, it's not easy to say, "Hey, I've really had a bad day" or "Hey, I really need you to talk to me right now". But do it, because chances are, if you keep looking, you'll find someone out there and it'll make things better.

Help others help you. Help me help you.

I want to help.

Dec 22, '09

Someone at work said to me today, "Hope Santa brings you something nice for Christmas.... something nice and muscular".

Can't believe it's almost Christmas. Everyday at work probably for the last week or so I have been thinking to myself, can't believe it. The year is almost gone. Uni seemed so long ago.

Interesting things happen.

Quick note to all commenters

Thanks for your comments (regardless of the means the comments are communicated).

=]

Dec 18, '09

Loud people scare me sometimes. Makes me feel uncomfortable. Often times, I feel myself no longer being engaged in the conversation and just observing the loud, dominating voices and hand gestures. I feel like maybe they may be scared too. And while I express it through stuttering and nervous laughter, they might do it through putting people down and making racist jokes.

I guess at the end of the day, a lot of us struggle inside.

Dec 15, '09

No more anger. No more hate. Just exasperation.
Thanks for reminding me, once again, why I shouldn't just trust anyone.

Dec 9, '09

It's been an interesting day. On the way to work this morning, I went to get coffee. I thought I'd be different and try a different place - it ended up being closed, so I went somewhere else, which was also closed. It took me a bit of a detour to get a coffee, finally, which then proceeded to spill onto my car. Somehow I eventually managed to get to work, only to find I had misplaced my work keys. I was too early so was locked outside. Eventually I got in and spent about an hour trying to work with IT people in Singapore to get me onto my computer with my keycard. By about 8:30am I had been asked three time whether something was going on. It's one of those things that if the day starts of frustrating, every little frustrating things just get magnified.

When I realize I'm just frustrating myself, I find the best thing to do is to get away from the computer and interact with other people. Went onto the field and learned a few things, then had some couple of discussions about a couple upcoming risks associated with my unit. By 5pm, things were looking less grey.

At night, someone's generosity gave me a delicious three course meal. It ended up being 5 courses as the main course and dessert was shared.

I also got an invitation to go to someone's place for Christmas today. I was so surprised. It was so out of the blue, and it was very kind. Opened my email and it was something along the lines of "If you're not doing anything for Christmas, come over to my place and spend it with my family, it's not a problem at all. It's bad enough that you're cold at home, but if you're cold and lonely, that's unbearable." Don't know him that well, so probably won't take up the offer, but I was really quite amazed for a few minutes. I guess I don't see or at least recognize such random acts of kindess very often these days.

Zzz....