The last day of Autumn, 2010

I've noticed good things this last season... the ever-changing colour of the trees against many beautiful blue skies, the fact that so many weekends in a row, the sun was told to shine.

It could've been a lot harder, this last season. The pressures of some other activities in past seasons was not insignificant. The relative ease in which decisions could be made, the freedom that this season brought - for these, I am grateful.

Throughout the season, there were still days, where I would remember what happened. I would remember the hurt, the brokeness, the tears. It would drive me to despair, remembering those smiles unsincere, the lies outright, the pain extreme.

And while I have learned to see the colours of autumn this year, there are still days that I will throw the phone across the phone when you call, there are still days that I will curse profoundly when I hear your name, there are still days that my head doesn't stop hurting recalling what you did.

Thanks for helping me get through another season. Winter will be more trying. Help me let go. Help me help you.

May 19, 2010

Words I read today, on a blog belonging to someone of whom I don't believe I've officially met - "Check up on me every once in a while, show me that you still care about this friendship, I need the reminders".

Hoping that whatever it is, it becomes less troubling soon.

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Check up on me every once in awhile.
Show me that you still you still care about this friendship.
I need the reminders.

All the time.

May 8, 2010

Went on a fairly long bike ride today winery hopping. Probably drank a bit too much. Muscles tired.

Read on someone's Facebook post today that, "If it doesn't break your heart it isn't love, if it doesn't break your heart it's not enough". Thank you for the reminder.

Don't mix your drinks, children. Don't drink and drive.

Time to hold still. No need to pick up yet, no need to be too ambitious. Just don't fall.